Coffee Makes Me Feel Drunk

Coffee is delicious. Espresso is even more delicious. And there is no better way for me to get all loopty-loo in the middle of the day, without feeling like I should check myself into some hippie place called Whispers or Secrets, than to drink a delicious cup of it.

First, I get really, really distracted by all of my now seemingly brilliant thoughts. Of which I have a billion.

I want to talk to everyone around me and overstay my welcome just a half a second, so that we’re both left feeling fake smiley and confused.

And I get really lovey feeling. Like, who has ever sent a “WYD?” text to someone regrettable after half a cortado? Just me?

It’s not like booze though, where my texts are misspelled, my thoughts slightly blurred and my decisions instantly forgotten. With a little caffeine and Splenda in me, it’s like I’m thinking the CLEAREST, MOST HYPERAWARE THOUGHTS OF MY LIFE! You guys, I think I’m brilliant. Like right now. I’m convinced these half sentences are going to bring the internet to this blog.

The irony with drinking coffee is that I’m usually trying to give myself the energy to power through some task I’m not that interested in. Without fail, however, the voice I’m trying to ignore wants to play.

Here’s a little peak into my last 5 minutes of thought:

  • This tastes really good. I kinda like that it comes in a glass rather than mug.
  • My mom likes tea in a mug. I still need to get a Christmas present for my mom.
  • I wonder what the internet thinks I should get my mom for Christmas.
  • That was dumb when a magazine, which is hard copy, said something about a butt braking the internet and then, we all just went ahead and talked about it on the internet, because…we’re dumb. But it didn’t actually break. So that’s even dumber.
  • Oh man, I’m done with this cup.
  • I wonder how my post from yesterday is doing.
  • I should write a post today.
  • Coffee is delicious. Espresso is even more delicious.

And, hello, here I am. The caffeine crash is also appearing. Probably going to need to reread my Twitter timeline in a few minutes…

I can’t be the only one who gets all hopped up on a fancy coffee drink, right?

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