I’m staying in tonight to “write,” which naturally means I have absolutely nothing coming to me. That’s why I decided to open up the floor viaTwitter and Facebook to you guys to see if I could answer any questions.
Pfft, Sean. The most honest answer would be: F*** if I know!
It’s good that you can recognize that you are jealous. At least that means you know there is an issue.
That jealousy SUCKS. It’s toxic.
Here’s the advice I’ve given myself and I’ll share with you:
- Really commit to the idea that this relationship was not for you. You’ve got to really understand why you don’t want to be in that relationship. Make a list and reference it when you start feeling emo. Even if you were the dumped rather than the dumpee, there were definitely things about the relationship that you weren’t psyched about. Tell yourself that story.
- Stop taking things personally. This is the hard part. Of course, you want to take this personally. Remember that we are all doing this for ourselves. We’re all trying to figure out our own emotional mysteries. That means me, you and your ex. Most people are not acting in efforts to spite you. They’re just trying to get through it.
- Direct all that anxious energy elsewhere. Go to the gym. Write and create…like a lot. Wear yourself out physically and mentally, so that there just isn’t any room left. The bonus part is that all this extra leg work will put you in a better position overall.
- Prove to yourself how incredible you are. You’ve got to be your own cheerleader here. Your ego took a hit, so do something that stuns you. Is there something that the negative voice tells you is out of your reach? Push yourself a little harder. Stretch yourself a little further. Turn that around and reach it. You’ve really got to be reminded that you’ve got a lot of great things going on. This person was a big part of it, but they weren’t the make or break of you.