What I Learned From The Bachelorette

Spoiler alert: If you haven’t seen The Bachelorette finale, don’t read this.

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Roberto!!!!!!  Oh, hunky, hunky Roberto.  Yes, I am talking about ‘The Bachelorette’ finale with Ali Fedotowsky, pictured left, who chose the golden god, Roberto, in the final rose ceremony.  Admittedly, I have never really been too hooked on ‘The Bachelor’ or ‘The Bachelorette’ franchises, but my new roommate watches it and I just couldn’t turn away. And, I’m a dating/relationship blogger.  Consider this research.

To those of you out of the loop, Ali Fedotowsky was a finalist in last year’s ‘The Bachelor,’ but left when her job at Facebook was in jeopardy.  This year, she quit her job and came back to find love through reality TV. Her list of suitors included a crazy who sang uncomfortable made-up songs and got a tattoo of a shield protecting a rose, some semi-pro wrestler d-bag who had two secret girlfriends and a guy who left the show to go back home and propose to an old girlfriend. Overall, not a good streak. Among the group, however, was a former pro-baseball player who looked as if he was being backlit by the glow of an archangel in place of studio lights. The two are now engaged, which makes me happy as I can stare at Roberto a little longer from the cover of US Weekly and People.

In any case, hit the jump for a list of awesome droplets of wisdom I have learned from The Bachelorette. 

  1. Drinking helps – Okay, this might only be when you are a contestant on ‘The Bachelor,’ but one of the creepy behind-the-scenes guys made it pretty clear that you will be crunked on the show.  And, yes, I did watch the 20/20 behind-the-scenes special last week.
  2. Buy a hot tub – Also from the Mr. Creepy 20/20 interview, I learned that the hot tub is the “busiest” place in the reality house. Coincidentally, this is also the reason I don’t go into the hot tub at the gym.
  3. Sometimes, you need to break the rules – The whole idea behind these shows is that there will be a proposal at the end.  This is crazy. Because of the way the show is set up, no Bachelor or Bachelorette is dating their “winner” exclusively, ever, until the final rose ceremony. Fortunately, a number of the contestants have not been entirely batty.  The very first Bachelor proposed to neither girl, and another Bachelor showed the girl the ring and then said “I’m going to hold on to this for awhile” (holy heartless).  Ali, I think, made the best move.  She let go of the guy she didn’t want before the final rose ceremony.  Why even entertain someone if you are truly serious about someone else?
  4. Guys are just as crazy and catty as girls – At last week’s ‘The Bachelorette’ reunion (yes, I watched three straight hours of The Bachelorette shows last week… and none of them were an actual episode), the competing guys were still tearing each other apart, even when Ali had already dumped them!  Crazy, tattoo’d singing guy even jumped onstage for another off-key song that didn’t make sense, while proclaiming “it is our duty to protect Ali’s heart.”  I couldn’t make this stuff up!
  5. You either know or you don’t. There is no middle ground – Ali was crazy about Roberto from the moment he stepped out of the limo.  We all saw it.  I’m a firm believer that love is a pretty cut-and-dry reality.  It’s difficult, yes.  It’s confusing, yes.  But, it’s either there and right or it’s not.  If you need to sell someone to yourself, you should probably just go shopping elsewhere.

What is your favorite The Bachelor/Bachelorette moment?

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