RedEye Bachelorette of the Week: Ally McBeal is Real!

Sometimes these bachelorette comment catfights turn into the message board version of Bridezillas. I watched an entire Bridezillas marathon on Memorial Day, so it’s safe to say that I’m an expert.  The TDH is extremely worried about this, but I digress. I know that this is supposed to be a post about you guys, but it’s my blog!!

It was a very close fight for the bridal bouquet.  Ultimately, however, we need to call a winner…and that champion is…

Jenny Jelte.JPG

First of all, her name is Jenny Jeltes…and as Selenavk points out, that is just AWESOME!

Second, from what I can determine in the comments, Jenny went to university in the UK.  As it turns out, so did I.  I know I might be biased, but I’m pretty sure that makes you a really cool person.  (Twiggy and TDH, no comments!)

Third, she has her own law practice?!  Are you kidding me?  Will you date me? D.O.C. Wine Bar is also my favorite place…you can take me there and you will, of course, pay since you have your own law practice.  (Kent, take note!  Your fancy pants ivy league degrees and NYC law firm are no longer impressive.)

Fourth, Janis Joplin is, in fact, the coolest.  My inner rock chick approves.

A few of my favorite comments:

  • Hot damn! Clearly ambitious, yet also the only one rocking the bar scene in her picture.. I’m gonna have to go with Ms. Jeltes! – Zachary

  • A good mix of humor and sophistication without the high-maintenance factor … what most guys are looking for — Jenny Jeltes is your pick. – Tad

  • I have seen Jenny Jeltes shake it and–damn! Once you see it, you won’t even remember what a semicolon is. – tfarber

Nicole, you were so close.  I love That White Bitch.  I also love that if people don’t know what that is, I just looked like a the biggest a-hole. 


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  • When I woke up this morning, I happened to read three terrible things: the oil still hadn't been cleaned up; we're still at war in Afghanistan; Nicole did not "win" this internet popularity contest.


  • Congrats to Jenny! Maybe The Red Eye and That White Bitch can work something out?

  • :( ok. but i went on a date with nicole tonight and it was the best night of my life. twb i love you and amen hecteriffic.

  • eyebrow fail.

  • It

  • Big girls need love too.


  • Nicole is like a hotter, wittier version of this. Let me upgrade you.

  • remember that feeling when bush won the second time? remember that???

  • I'm going to go ahead and nitpick.

    Girlfriend didn't go to college in the UK, unless Wayne State and Michigan somehow magically traveled there when no one was looking.

    Secondly, as a lawyer myself, I am not as impressed by starting a "law firm" with no actual office or employees. Frankly, I'd be more impressed if she were a shareholder in a large firm or already a junior partner at our age. Saying you started a law firm seems a little disingenuous to me. All it is is incorporating yourself to protect against claims or liability.

    Lastly, Jenny is a cool name, and the other 3 million women in the US with that name agree.

    The reasons cited for picking this girl are so incredibly lame that I can't help but think that Nicole didn't win because it's more socially acceptable to pick the on-the-surface smart girl over the pretty one. Not dating the pretty girl is a lifestyle in Chicago. It only makes me appreciate living in Miami that much more.

  • Nice to see you've got a sense of humor. I'd take your swipe about falling asleep more seriously if I said anything about myself or my accomplishments. You proved my point, though. Thank you.

  • Okay everyone - Xanax is on special at your family doctor, so take a chill pill.

    Ana - your doing a great job highlighting the unique characteristics that set these bombshells apart from the rest. Keep it up.

    Jenny - From one red eye bachelor to another, attagirl. I like your style, don't let those who criticize hold you down.

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