I'm a spectacle in my spectacles

If I have to wear my glasses for one more day, I am going to lose it.  Don’t get me wrong, I love people in glasses.  Most girls can pull off a look that balances on bookish and naughty, while guys in glasses are a particular weakness of mine.  (My children will have the vision of mole people if my genetic pool choices have anything to do with it!)  I don’t think I look like a terrifying beast in glasses, but I’m pretty aware that people are no longer offering their seat or holding open doors…accidentally sexy, ’tis I.

Everytime I begin to see someone more regularly, something will happen to my eyes or contacts that results in me having to wear my glasses for at least the first month of dating.  Once, I moved apartments and the tree next to the building caused my allergies to flair up, fogging three sets of contacts and/or making them painful to wear.  Another time, I had just ordered a new set and ripped the right one in some sort of freak spasm.  I had to wait weeks for the new pairs to arrive.  My body is trying to sabotage any idea of an actual relationship.

It’s as if I’m the “ugly” girl in a teen movie before her makeover.  You know, she looks passable…but she’s wearing glasses.  At some point in the movie, they have an elaborate “I’ll show Johnny what he’s missing” scene, where they pretend to put on make-up, get a new hairstyle and try on more revealing clothes…but, really, they are just taking off her glasses and calling it a day.  It’s seems to be some sort of grand test to see if the guy will stick with me through the plot build-up.  As I tweeted yesterday, it’s like I’m a prisoner in my own face.

As Anthony Zepeda (@azchilli56) said, however, maybe it’s more of a test for me.  This could very well be true.  I get so self-conscious in my glasses and it definitely requires me to put down some of my boundaries, rely on other flirting tactics and boost up other qualities.  Plus, you have to step up the seduction when you are wearing glasses.  One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to not sexify your eyes, because (especially when you are drawing attention to them by wearing glasses) they are a huge focal point when you meet someone.  I’ve been wearing my glasses for about three or four weeks now and I’m just starting to notice people smiling at me randomly and the guy at Starbucks I’m pretty sure has been flirting with me…this must mean I’m starting to move in the right direction.

Related: Glasses-wearing Chicagoans show of their style [RedEye]

UPDATE: Just got an e-mail from my dad that my contacts might not have been ordered yet…someone send me a margarita.


If you want to see me in my glasses, you have the opportunity this Saturday!  Be at the Chicago Theatre somewhere between noon and 9 p.m. for the latest edition of the RedEye tweet-ups.  This one involves free Wao Bao (yum!!!) and a Foursquare race!  Check out the facebook invite for more details.  I’ll be there handing out buttons to the first ten people who approach me wearing glasses…any type of glasses!  Remember, if you collect all the buttons this summer at our RedEye tweet-ups there will be a really, really awesome top-secret prize!!  Will you be there?  


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  • When I was little I always wanted glasses (and braces) so badly!! I would curse my 20/20 and would have gladly traded my xray vision for a pair, and still would today though I can't bring myself to buying the ones w/o a prescription. =)

    My future kids however will be forced to wear fake glasses, because that's just adorable.

  • Wow, Marilyn Monroe looks way hotter in her glasses than out! But that's just me.

  • Some celebs look better with their glasses and made it a styling point of their own: Elvis Costello and Lisa Loeb for example. I think it's very difficult to find a style that works; that's why I'm glad I wear contacts. It's time consuming and expensive to be sexy and bespectacled, but not impossible. Then again, I do wear my sunglasses all. the. time.

    Meet you tomorrow!

  • I love my glasses, just not when I fall asleep with them on only to wake up with them smooshed and bent :)

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