Five Major Warning Signs That He's Not The Right One

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( Don’t ignore the signs!

I have a big problem.  Now that Michael Buble is engaged, I don’t really have anything to measure my attraction to someone against.  While I audition possible fillers, I’ve come up with a list of five warning signs that mean you shouldn’t do the boyfriend/girlfriend thing.




  1. He doesn’t want to make it official on Facebook. This is the biggest red flag around.  I can understand not wanting to blast your personal life around the internet (well…not totally, because I write this blog, lol).  If you are in a “serious” relationship with someone and you’ve had to “okay, we’re boyfriend and girlfriend now” talk, you should a) be proud of it and want people to know about it, and b) think it’s going to have enough longevity that you won’t have to take it down in two weeks.  On the other hand, I don’t have my relationship status listed on my profile and it’s okay if we are in a relationship and both choose to leave it blank.  If one person requests it, however, you have to accept it.
  2. He hasn’t met your friends yet or vice versa. It’s so important that your closest friends like the person you date.  I would never be in an official relationship with someone who hasn’t met my Chicago bff and I would never get engaged to someone who hasn’t met my Scottish besties.
  3. He’s stopped taking you on dates.  If you’re not his girlfriend and the guy has already stopped taking you on dates, he’s not really going to start that up again.  “Hanging out” is not dating.
  4. You can already predict the exact issue that will break you up.  If you know it’s a dealbreaker, it will always be a dealbreaker.  You might recognize right away that he’s jealous all the time or he’s not very open, but just not think about it.  It will always show itself and it will always be a problem.  Never think that you can change a guy, he will always revert back.
  5. He thinks he needs a “last hurrah”.  If someone views the start of a relationship as the end to fun, that means that it will be the end of fun for you too.  I’m looking for someone to enhance my life, not hold me down.

What are your pre-coupled warning signs?


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  • As soon as I read this I had the urge to Xerox 50 copies and hand them out to every female friend of mine in Chicago. Props!

  • All so true! A good friend of mine once told me that the only difference between a stalker and a boyfriend is that one creeps you out. I think that is so true too! Well said :)

  • I think you should focus more on the positive elements that a relationship has to offer than coming up with psuedo hypothetical factors that can potentially (subconsciously) inhibit you from forming a meaningful relationship with somebody-like Markley, perhaps?

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