I May Need To Be Quarantined Due To Foot-In-Mouth Syndrome


(sxc.hu) This will be me trying to hitchhike out of town in t minus five hours……


Chicago is too small.

After this post, I may need to a) change my hair color, b) change my name, c) leave town, d) all the above.
When I first moved to Chicago, I had a brief, but intense relationship with someone I was absolutely crazy about…the break up actually lasted longer than the relationship  The fact was, however, that I moved to Chicago exactly three days before meeting him and was not in any way ready for a relationship like the one he was offering.  I was in the middle of a very difficult time in my private life, one that got TERRIFICALLY worse for about a year.  Although it sucked to lose a truly great guy who really cared about me and vice versa, I needed to learn some really important lessons on my own, before I could even consider that type of relationship.  I wouldn’t be quite so strong and sure about myself if we had stayed together.  In any case, I’m sure the whole experience was hardly a drop in the pan for him and that he hasn’t passed a seconds thought on me for years.  I think I’m still suffering from bad dating karma after the crap I drudged him through.

It’s been about 3 1/2 years since I last saw him.  In the meantime, I haven’t seen any of his friends, met anyone that knew him tenatively, not a single chance path crossing.  Until about two months ago, when I met Leonard.*  The first night that Leonard and I hung out, I was at the Kid Cudi concert in Millennium Park.  I was by myself and the guy standing behind me introduced himself.  I ended up telling him where I went to university to which he replied “do you know NAME?”  Yes, the first time in four years anyone has said NAME to me. 

The second time Leonard and I hung out, he took me to After Dark at the Art Institute.  It was Leonard and I’s first official date.  He met me at the entrance with a vodka tonic and looked absolutely adorable.  As we were talking, I happened to look up for a moment and noticed someone looking in my direction.  He looked vaguely familiar and it was apparent that he was trying to place me too.  Then, I started thinking to myself, “that looks just like NAME’s friend…”  As my eyes scanned down to his table…there he was…NAME.

I have no idea what my date was saying to me in that moment.  I just suddenly exclaimed, “Hey!  I haven’t seen the upstairs gallery at the Modern Wing yet!  Wanna check it out?”  As I whisked him towards the stairs, an avalanche of people came tumbling down.  Leonard didn’t want to fight upstream like spawning salmon.  I, however, would’ve taken the hit.  I suddenly realized that I was NOT wearing enough clothes for the first time I saw NAME again…I had been trying to look hot for Leonard!  I was on a date, darn it!

Leonard, looking awesome as always, wanted to stand where?  Oh, yes.  Right by NAME’s table.  I made the decision to just pretend I hadn’t seen him (he’d had his back to me anyways) and get on with the show.  No eye contact, no awkward.

So, anyways, why am I writing about this a month later?

I have been working with a girl at the Art Institute on a super awesome collaborative project with another RedEye blogger (details to come soon).  She asked if I wanted to come to After Dark this Friday…I responded with the above story (slightly abbreviated)…in my “blog voice”…trying to be funny.  Guess who NAME is dating now?  Oh….her cube mate’s best friend.

Moral of the story: ALWAYS use fake names in stories..ALWAYS!!!!!

Oh, and I should also point out that Leonard grew up in the same town as NAME and knows NAME’s brother.  And Leonard ended up doing to me almost EXACTLY what I did to NAME…for the exact same reasons.


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  • My my my, what tangled webs we weave. Ana, hmm, I don't know how to tell you this without just stating the obvious, but, hun, you've got some issues! Yesterday I commented that even though you were the supposed "ugly duckling," it really is your personality that makes you beautiful (which you are). Unfortunately, in this post, your personality is coming off as, to put it mildly, the opposite of beautiful.

    Stop obsessing about some relationship with some guy that happened years ago. You have clearly demonstrated that this past failed relationship has affected your current dating life (as evidenced by you acting like a lunatic on the date with Leonard).

    The time has come to move on. Let's rid of the dirty laundry and the skeletons.

    Let's be more sexy, and be less of an accident waiting to happen.

  • Oh Ana, we've all been there! It's those omgkillme moments that give us the best stories- like when i ran into two exes while out with another boy at Green Mill? "Oh he's just a friend" was the phrase of the night. The point is, running into an ex unexpectedly is always jarring and can make us act unlike our normal selves no matter how the breakup occurred. Though you probably wanted to be beamed up when you saw him, at least you can look back and laugh at it now! This is what sitcoms are made of.

    I like your perspective on Leonard and Dude always crossing paths around you. People are in different dating stages at different times and it's cool that you're able to recognize that the timing wasn't quite right for either relationship- a useful skill! At any rate now you have an awesome story for parties.

  • I highly dislike awkward situations like that, but you know it happens to the best of us.

    In response to the first comment here, I don't really think that anyone has the right to call someone out and inform them that they have issues. Unless you are without any kind of fault and have absolutely no neurotic tendencies, then please, go right ahead. As Ana said, we share this kind of stuff to move past it and learn, so at the least show some respect..

    Dating karma is kind of a bummer though, like you mentioned. I wonder if I've had past-life bad dating karma, because this life has been kind of rough as far as boyfriends go!

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