Why can’t the frosting companies just put enough frosting in one can to frost an entire cake? Why do they always only include almost enough?
It’s been about fifteen minutes since I’ve mention that all three of my children have birthdays in December. So, I feel compelled to mention it now. All three of my children have birthdays in December! So while most other people’s December thoughts are filled with sugarplums, Christmas trees and New Year’s Eve bashes, mine is filled, as per usual, with crickets.
Oh, just kidding. My December thoughts are manic — filled with birthday cakes and candles and birthday presents and making sure said birthday presents are not wrapped in Santa covered paper.
This also means that in December I find myself frosting a lot of cakes. By the third cake with not enough frosting in the can, when I’m all worried about the exposed crumbs on top because there isn’t enough extra frosting to cover them, forcing me to hope the top of that really big crumb is where the dot on the “I” in “Birthday” will go, I am ready to rant.
However, this year, I have a great idea! The great idea is not for me, it’s for other people, as all my great ideas usually are.
Here it my great idea: Why don’t all the frosting making companies, Betty Crocker, Pillsbury, Duncan Hines, et al, make frosting containers… wait for it… one and one-half sizes larger?! I know! It seems so simple. The sixteen ounce size they manufacture now tends to leave a double layer cake exposed in the back like it’s wearing a bad hospital gown. And no one wants to eat cake after working the visuals on that.
One of my friends, we’ll call him “Mike,” says he has resorted to buying two cans of frosting. As you can see from the above photo, there is a danger in that. Besides, this is exactly what they’re expecting, those teeny-tiny can frosting selling companies. It’s all part of their evil confectionary plan! The next thing you know, they’ll be taking us away to FEMA camps — in the Candy Cane Forest! (FEMA=Frosting Embittered Mothers of America)
If just one of these companies would sell a larger, one-and-half size can of frosting, they would clean up. They’d rule the canned frosting market. And the others would certainly follow.
Then we would have frosting freedom! We wouldn’t have to succumb to their evil plot of buying two whole cans, which, last I heard, has driven “Mike,” who’s now living in a van down by the river, into abject poverty.
No, the 24-ounce can of frosting is the answer to all of our icing troubles. Although, on second thought, one would forfeit the opportunity of sneaking down to the fridge in the middle of the night for a spoonful of leftover whipped chocolate from that second can. Not that I’d know that from experience or anything. I’m just saying.
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