Hi, my name is Kim and I’m a Facebook-a-holic.

Hi, my name is Kim and I’m a Facebook-a-holic.

Hi, my name is Kim and I’m a Facebook-a-holic.

Hi Kim. (<<<That would be your line.)

In defending my love and addiction to Facebook as part of tonight’s ChicagoNow Blog-a-Palooza challenge (“Write a post passionately defending your guilty pleasure.”) I’m reminded of that old line, the one that goes, I’m not an alcoholic. Alcoholics go to meetings. I’m a drunk.

So I guess, by that definition, I’m not a Facebook-a-holic at all. I’m a Facebook junkie.

I know. The hardest part of solving a problem is admitting you have one. But I don’t think my relentless Facebooking is a problem, not really. I am a totally high functioning Facebook-a-holic-junkie. I go to work, do my job well, take care of my family when I get home—I get groceries purchased, dinner on the table and laundry finished, although, at times, dinner can be a little late and the laundry can get a little wrinkly sitting in the laundry basket for hours when I find myself distracted by the photos everyone else is posting. You know, the shots of what they’re having for dinner. I mean, I think they’re trying to make me feel bad about my meatloaf.  Although, that’s really not that hard to do.

As all of my 1031 closest, dearest Facebook friends already know, I would never waste their time with pictures of kittens or spaghetti and meatballs. I waste their time with idiotic rants about my garage light that doesn’t work and the Christmas tree that’s still laying (Lying—whatever. 1030 closest, dearest Facebook friends…) in my backyard.

Here’s the thing: Facebook is fun. It’s my guilty pleasure. I’m not proud of it, but I thoroughly enjoy Facebook. It makes me laugh. It makes me cry. It makes me want to flee to Twitter when recurrent twits keep showing up, but still. I love it. Plus, some of my friends only contact me via Facebook messaging, so…there. Not that I’m rationalizing or anything. (They’re enabling me!)

Facebook has allowed me to reconnect with old friends and stay close to current ones. I’ve made new online friends—people that I consider real friends, solely through our interactions on Facebook. So what if the little green circle next to my name is lit up, all the time, all day, every day? Every single day. Except for that one four hour period when the Internet went down because of that new construction up the street. I know! You were worried about me, weren’t you? But you needn’t have fretted. As soon as the Internet was back up, the shaking stopped, two, maybe three days later.

So, there it is. Laid bare for all to see. I only ask for the wisdom to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I — wait, my friend Cheryl just posted another really cool status update about Legos.

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