So it's St Patricks Day weekend...

So it's St Patricks Day weekend...

St Patricks day has gone from a traditional Irish celebration of St Patricks death (who was born in the Roman controlled British Isles. So what would make him Bri-talian?), to a day where "everyone is Irish". Chicks are allowed to dress like prostitutes with so much green clothing that it looks like a Leprechaun barfed on them. And I think it's great. I mean, what day other than Halloween, can you wear shamrock leggings, a green bustier and no coat when it's 40 degrees outside without getting judged? There isn't one. I'm not even .0000001% Irish and I get dressed up like I just got off of the boat from Ireland holding a golf club, eating corned beef and cabbage and holding the deed to my potato farm. It's fun. When I thought it was cool to have half of a goatee on my face, I'd paint it green. I go to a St Patricks Day party with a bunch of friends, who, all but maybe two of them aren't Irish. I despise Jameson whiskey (Get me some Jack. 'Merica!), but I'll do my share of Irish Car Bombs.  Needless to say, I'm a big proponent on St Pat's celebrations.

Here's my question. Why aren't there many other ethnic holidays where everyone and their mother celebrates, regardless of their lineage? I'm half Italian and half Hungarian, (Hung Italian, that never gets old). Why isn't there a Guido's Day? Where everyone is Italian for a day. You glue fake hair to your chest, wear a Dego-t, and walk around tossing a mound of pizza dough in the air. You drink Peroni and do shots of Frangelico (I would have said Campari, but who the hell drinks that except people over the age of 80? Seriously, it tastes like a mixture of cough syrup and asshole). You could go to a party and eat gnocchi. Or maybe a Péter Erdő Day (Current Hungarian Cardinal). People could dress in peasant clothing and walk around eating Chicken Paprikash and Goulash. Hmmm, ok maybe not. But at least they could drink pálinka, a traditional Hungarian fruit br.......alright, screw Péter Erdő Day.

You know what? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe there's a reason there aren't many other world celebrated ethnic holidays. Well in any event, Erin Go Bragh and everybody be safe this weekend!!

Your pal,


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