My mom called yesterday morning and said "You know I'm not working tomorrow and I thought maybe, if you'd like, I could come by and make dinner for you guys." Um, yes, please and oh my goodness THANKYOU! Is this the definition of gratitude? I think so.
This isn't the first time my mom has done this - this is one of many natural offerings of goodness my mom shares daily. She often runs by with a pair of earrings for my daughter, a cake for my son. She calls and emails about things that she thinks we will all like. But yesterday's offer of love and generosity triggered something in me.
My focus of gratitude yesterday was excitement. I wanted to be excited about my life on an ordinary Monday and my mom gave me the perfect opportunity to do so. So while I had many entries in my gratitude journal yesterday, (my awesome pillow, the sunshine, an early morning workout,) most of my writing was about my gratitude for my mom.
On the daily, I'm sure many of us think of our mothers and are grateful. My gratitude thoughts go something like "OH I am so lucky to have her, she is amazing, she's given me so much." And then a tingling feeling sets in. Almost like the concept of exactly how much she's given me is too much to hold, to much to understand, to much to FEEL. Yes, too much to feel. So I stop my thoughts and go about my business. What is that tingling?
Realizing this yesterday at bedtime broke me open. I allowed myself to feel how much gratitude I have for my mother and the sacrifices she's made for me. She's been my mother for 45 years of her life. That's a lot of years of loving, of nurturing, of lunches, of making ends meet, of Jordache jeans, of denying me things for my own good, of watching me fall, of watching me rise, of watching and loving and cooking and cooking more and loving and cooking. That's a lot of years to love someone. As a mom myself, I know this love is in your bones consuming, overwhelming, wonderful and sometimes draining.
Allowing myself to feel this gratitude completely, with no edits and no stop signs is humbling. I have never done this before. Put THIS much feeling behind the thought "I'm so grateful for my mom." While I consider myself a thoughtful person, someone who daily strives for self awareness, this feeling of embodying the gratitude I feel for my mom is a game changer.
I've always held my mom in high regard. I've always been aware of how generous and kind and wonderful she is to me. But this overwhelming, let it all fly feeling of appreciation and awe is incredible. I don't know quite what to do with it yet. It's too soon to tell how I will live with his newfound sense of gratitude. I'm excited. I'm humbled. I'm grateful.
Did you write in your gratitude journal yesterday? What are you thankful for? Tell me in the comments below!
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