I need to get a hold of Kate Upton, the super-model who became famous after the video of her doing The Dougie at a basketball game went viral.
Kate Upton is known for her big boobs. I have big boobs and I hate bras. There is no fantasy bra that makes it comfortable for a big breasted woman to reign in her chas chas all day long. Plenty of companies claim that they have the most comfortable bra for big breasted women but they are lyyyyyying!
If you don’t want to wear an underwire bra which is the equivalent of sticking a wire in the top of your ribs for an extended period of time, then you buy the kind that don’t have underwire. You might even buy the kind that don’t have fasteners on the strap, so that essentially, you are wearing a sport bra posing as a regular bra.
Well, the bras with no fastener or underwire stretch out in a matter of weeks. This is problematic when you catch a glimpse of yourself in a store window and you realize that “Thelma and Selma” are heading south and never coming back. The whole point of wearing a bra is so your boobs are supported. How many bras is a woman supposed to have in stock?
Take note, I didn’t say I hate my boobs. I appreciate my big boobs. My big boobs fed two infants: my daughters. My big boobs are cancer-free and I am grateful for that every time I get the results of my yearly mammogram. The fact is, it’s not about me disliking my boobs. In fact, it’s more about me liking my boobs enough to want to let them bounce free. I wear bras because I have to in order to function within society. I'm not interested in being ogled and ostracized. I have children to feed, and a reputation to keep.
Remember the sixties? When women burned their bras as a way to protest discrimination and demand equal rights? Well, I suggest that we have another bra burning event but that it has less to do with equal rights and more to do with comfort! I believe in comfort! I don’t wear skinny jeans. I wear sensible shoes. I always carry a sweater, just in case. I want to add no bras to my comfort zone.
This is where Kate Upton is going to come in. I need her to help me make bouncy boobs a fashion statement! Let's get it on the runway! She can appear in billboards inciting a rebellion on the part of women everywhere! Of course a billboard with Kate Upton not wearing a bra would probably cause numerous accidents. That, would not be so good.
The bra industry is a racket, Ladies! Just another way to keep women bound! Yes, wearing a good bra lengthens your torso and makes you look thinner but I’d be happy to have a torso that looks like a tree trunk if I never had to wear a bra, again. I went to a bra store recently and the woman tried to sell me on a "sleep bra" because according to the idiotic store she was representing who had supposedly done extensive research on the subject, breasts should never be left to hang free: not even during rest. For goodness sake, shouldn't boobs get to relax? What’d they ever do to anyone?
Do you have a bra that you swear by? Or have you already rejected bras with success? If so, let me know in the comment section below.
Come on! Who’s with me? Could we at least start with No Bra Fridays?
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