Confessions of an Animal Hoarder

Confessions of an Animal Hoarder

Yes, yes, family and friends-- I admit it -- I am a guilty animal hoarder.

I'm one of those filthy, grody unspeakable creatures who scavenges the night for cats to nab up and I rummage through garbage to feed my growing hoard. When I walk among my apartment I come across piles of feces, puddles of urine and several dead bodies; which I just ignore and leave to rot.

I dont feed my animals regularly and I feed them what I find on the street-- and I keep collecting more because "I want to save them all". I have 20 cats, 40 dogs, 1,000 snakes and 100 mice. I feed the mice to the snakes, and the cats to the dogs-- as nature intended.

I actually dont even feed myself real food, some of the corpses I find of my dead friends-- I cook up for sustenance. Yes I am one of those crazy people who eats their pets flesh. But I get by, because I am a hoarder and I cannot live without my addiction.

Let this be comedic instead of stark, because after all I am only joking.

But for those of you out there that think my 3 cats, mouse, snake and possible dog is too much for a college student; look towards yourself. Just because I love to save lives, and may have more pets than an ordinary person, doesn't make me pre-cursor animal hoarder. All of my pets are well fed, vetted and cared for so butt out of my life! Focus on your own.

Life is precious and if you criticize others for their lifestyle, you may have something lacking in your own. Go to a local shelter, adopt a dog-- save a life. Because in the end we are all just atoms floating amongst a stagnant air.


Now enjoy cute photos of my children!

2015-09-15 10.00.50 Ophelia my sweet snake

2015-10-07 18.04.23 Tastee the rescued mouse

2015-10-06 12.09.28 Moxie being regal~

Photo on 10-5-15 at 1.13 PM #4 Grump cuddle buddy <3

2015-09-19 14.41.47 Neo being cute and non-devilish

2015-10-20 12.15.05 Moxie and Grump getting along <3

2015-08-25 18.41.17 Neo and Grump cuddle boys

2015-10-20 09.18.26 Briggs the chunk <3



**And remember dont forget to spay and neuter your pets! Its the only way to stop pet overpopulation! Encourage everyone to do so too!**

**Check under my "sources" page to a link for a low cost spay and neuter clinic!**




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  • You just have a ton of love in your heart. It is admirable. Your family has your back all day errrrrrrday.

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