"I'm sorry, but I think you kinda suck and I don't want to be your friend."
I can't tell you how many times these words have gone through my head. I've imagined myself saying them out loud so many times that it's become my dirty little fantasy! I feel excitement everytime I have that pretend conversation where I very calmly explain that I have no interest in you or your life, at all!! Then I look up and there you are. Fantasy over!
Have you ever worked with someone who just seems to adores you? Who wants to chat with you all the time, invites you to their house for drinks, to concerts, the movies, everywhere! Someone who wants to be the very much older version of 6th grade best friends? Aside from the fact that this type of "friendship" seems awkward and weird after the age of 13 for most people, it's also especially difficult when the person is someone you can barely stand to look at without screaming, much less hang out with!
When I was eleven, I relished in the beauty of having a 6th grade best friend. Someone to do (almost) EVERYTHING with! We walked to school together, we had lunch together, we walked home together, we did our homework on the phone together, it was great! But, by the time the 6th grade year was over, we both wanted a differnt type of "best friend". All this "everything together" gets a little annoying and the relationship changes. Which is a good thing. I'm glad I didn't know then that I would have this very same opportunity much later in life. It potentially could have ruined my REAL 6th grade best friend experience knowing that I'd have another chance later on and didn't need to put so much effort in on this first go 'round.
Not only does this kind of friendship has a certain strange freaky feeling at this age, but your cosntant sharing of your ridiculous life is too much! I admit though, that on occasion your stories do have some entertainment value. I love a good laugh! Too bad I have to keep them all inside. The worst part comes when you ask for my advice. Why don't you already know that it's not ok for your 16 year old son to have his 15 year old girlfriend sleep over. And that, buying him beer and cigarettes is not a good idea just because he sneaks them from you anyway. I don't wanna hear another one of your "I had sex with one of my married boyfriends" stories, or your "Now my kid hates me because I told him no" stories!
Your morals, your values, your personality, damn near EVERYTHING about you clashes with EVERYTHING about me! How long can I smile and nod before I just grab you and say, "I don't like you"! Why do you insist on talking to me? I never say more that the usual courteous plesantries as not to be rude. Why haven't you noticed how incredibly busy I become as soon as you show up? You don't think it's odd that I always say I'm busy when you invite me places? Even before you tell me the date?
All these things go through my mind as I continue to sit and suffer in silence. I feel bad for her and I feel guilty about not liking someone who just wants to be my friend. So, for now I'll just sit and nod, or run and hide when possilbe, until I can figure out how to nicely distance myself. Maybe I can try this, "Hey look over there at that new person, I think they live near you and I'm sure they have teenage kids too!" I digress (sigh).
Anyway, have a GREAT day at work today, or, at the very least, don't do anything that will get you fired and/or arrested!
The Working Poor