Thousands of years ago, before the dawn of man as we knew him, the White Sox were leading the Twins 3-0 after the 1st inning.
Scott Diamond had been the Twins most consistent starter all season, but spent the first frame falling behind hitters, and getting rapped down the foul lines for three runs on four hits. With the Tigers trailing to Cleveland, and the Twins bullpen set to make an early appearance, all that was needed was a decent outing from Jose Quintana.
Quintana led off the 2nd with back-to-back singles, but kept Ryan Doumit off-balance with sliders before putting him away with a fastball away....
He's got the platoon advantage with Chris Parmalee, so he should be able tooooooooouhghgcjgh.......
(wakes up in a fallow field 15 miles outside Bloomington, Illinois with a pounding headache, blood-stained shirt)
Ugh...wha...(memories of back-to-back walks and 800 singles in a row rush forward in a blinding light, stands up to see an image of a ball ricocheting off of Alexei Ramirez's glove scorched into the dirt).
Well, there's no telling...exactly what happened here....the Sox appear to be down 7-3, No! 7-4 after that RBI double by Alexei Ramirez. It's only the top of the 5th, that's plenty of time to make up a three-ruuuuuuurnnnnnfndfndfnnfnf.......
(wakes up hanging upside down from the ceiling in a dank basement, ankles hurting like crazy, can taste blood dripping into mouth)
Is this my blood? I kinda hope it's mine.
(A old Zenith television flicks on in the corner, it appears to be on a commercial, but it keeps repeating the same part over and over again....
'Do you believe a kid from Nacogdoches, Texas can pitch a perfect game?' 'Do you believe a kid from Nacogdoches, Texas can pitch a perfect game?' 'Do you believe a kid from Nacogdoches, Texas can pitch a perfect game?')
Dewayne Wise pitched a scoreless 9th.
Twins 18, White Sox 9
Dayan Viciedo - 2 for 2, 2 2B, RBI - DAYAN WAS PERFECT! THE REST OF Y'ALL RUINED IT
Jose Quintana - 1.1 IP, 5 H, 7 ER, 2 BB, 2 K - I once read a book that ostensibly started out about a young man running away from home and finding himself, but halfway through, a new character was introduced, a character who ripped the skin off of cats and ate their hearts. It was shocking!
Philip Humber - 0.1 IP, 7 H, 8 ER, 2 BB, HR - Lost a lot of interest in seeing Philip next year
Leyson Septimo - 0.1 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 0 K - Way to LOOGY, LOOGY
The White Sox chances in this game were killed five times before they hit the ground, but Quintana following up a strikeout where he had Ryan Doumit flailing by walking Chris Parmalee and Trevor Plouffe back-to-back ,and allowing the first two RBI of Eduardo Escobar's THREE RBI NIGHT was definitely the first time the Earth cracked, spun off its axis and hurtled into the sun.
Things Would Be Different If...
...not for the fun parade of doubles in the bottom of the 8th inning. All of a sudden, the White Sox scrubs decided to pummel Anthony Swarzak for four runs, hit five doubles, and removed the game from competition for one of the worst losses of the last ten years. Instead, it was just a really, really crappy night of pitching.
"SHUTDOWN QUINTANA" will certainly be a topic for discussion for the rest of the week, and it's not without merit. He could be cratering down the stretch because he's tired, he could be cratering because he doesn't have a third pitch, but exploring the former doesn't prevent anyone from eventually concluding the latter.
In the meantime, Dewayne Wise pitched, Hawk left the game sometime in the 6th (hopefully for benign reasons), the White Sox set a team record for doubles (10), and the Tigers lost. Chim-chim-chireee!
Team Record: 73-62, 1 game up