Alright, Chris Sale is almost CERTAINLY going to be in the bullpen

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Here is where you go, Chris

My internet is out, which is Comcast's fault.

I just wrote, and then deleted, a very long paragraph about violent urges I have had on this subject.

But thanks to limited internet access, I'm resigned to just this little news nugget rather than commenting on the end of the David Wilder Case, or some sort of interesting analysis until later Sunday.

Ozzie Guillen went on WSCR AM 670 this Saturday (really, White Sox Weekly on The Score has provided useful Sox information two weeks in a kudos on that) and pretty much drove the final nail into the 'Chris Sale starting is maximizing his value' movement's coffin.

"Burn in hell, WAR-advocates," Ozzie implied but didn't actually say.

The Sox have two off-days in April that Guillen is apparently going to try to utilize by skipping the fifth-starter slot, with the assumption that Jake Peavy won't be ready at some insanely early time.

"I've chained Jake up in my basement to prevent him from coming back too soon.  I feed him twice daily, and supply him with frequent bathroom breaks." Guillen never would but might as well say.

As for Sale?

"I know he was a starter in college, but I already saw
him in the big leagues last year in the bullpen, and I loved it," Guillen actually did say.

Basically, there's no way in rarified hell the Sox are going "waste" Sale by only starting him twice in the opening month as opposed to use him out of the bullpen.  'Waste' is in quotes because he'd probably pitch a comparable number of innings and provide similar value...but I digress.

Try as I might to put on the Sabermetric hat, and look at the big picture, and wonder about Sale's development, I can't be that infuriated about Sale in the bullpen because he seems like he could be so friggin' great at it.

The few times where a fifth starter will come into play, it figures to be a three-way slap-fight between Carlos Torres' understudy (Lucas Harrell), 1st-round bust Philip Humber, and Jeff Gray.

Who the hell is Jeff Gray you (and I) ask?  A 29-year old minor-league pickup who gave the A's 26 half-decent innings in 2009 before losing the ability to throw a strike for the Cubs last season.  Then again, maybe he's always been a true White Sox at heart, and was sabotaging the North Siders intentionally out of extreme loyalty and blatant disregard to his own livelihood.  Maybe.

Finally--because this cafe is about to close and I have to go home to my apartment where there's no internet, no cable, no nothing ohmygodcomcastIhateyousososomuch--I'd like to note that Gray was picked up around the same time as the Sox snatched up plodding-lefty-slugger-for-hire Daryle Ward.  Ward hasn't been with a big-league club since '08, and God knows what type of shape he's in, but for me it's comforting to know that if Konerko and Dunn went down, the Sox could plug in absolute bargain-basement versions of them in Ward and Dallas McPherson.

By "comforting" I mean "darkly amusing".

Read this Jim Margalus piece.  I haven't the time to describe it, just read it.

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