A funny headline about pains in Manny Ramirez's pants

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Youch! Or not...he can't tell

After a stressful and emotional week where the Sox somehow massively transformed their roster by barely changing it at all, things have just gotten even better for the South Siders.

Manny Ramirez has made up for coming over in September and laying an egg!

Well he almost has.  Because this headline is almost perfect.

"Mystery groin injury affected ex-Sox Ramirez"

It's one word away...let's fix it!

"Mystery groin affected ex-Sox Ramirez"

Perrrrfect.

Really, it's an attempt by Scott Boras to lure another multi-million
dollar deal for Manny Ramirez by blaming his struggles on a groin injury
near the end of last season that made him awful....but wasn't severe
enough for him to realize it existed.

Uhhh...I guess when your client--a plodding power hitter--fails to hit
HRs in the easiest park to hit HRs in, you need to get creative. 

"He's not washed-up!  He was...he was...injured!"

"Injured?"

"Yeah!  Sapped him of his power!"

"Was this the leg injury?  I thought he was cleared."

"No!  Nope!  It was a separate injury!"

"Separate?  What was it?"

"His groin!  He needed surgery!"

"Ouch....wait, why didn't he report it?  Why was he playing?"

"Because he was so dedicated to the team."

......................

"No, really."

"Uh, uh...he didn't know he had it!"

".......He didn't know he had it?"

"Nope!"

.....................

"He'll take a one-year deal, right?"

"Oh yeah."

Hit the links

J.J. at White Sox Examiner points out that having two 1st basemen signed for the next three years means we're putting The Tank in the garage.
Mike at White Sox mix reminds you to stop smiling and admit you're emotionally compromised by Paul Konerko (I know I am, but I'm easily emotionally compromised)
Jim at Sox Machine likes Donkey Kong, and thus likes the Dunn-Konerko pairing

Follow White Sox Observer on Twitter @ JFegan_WSO_ODTL and on Facebook. 

Comments

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  • That reminds me of the time Sam "May Day" Malone got the fill in sports anchor job and rapped about "Groin Injury...Groin Injury." That's the only part I remember.

    However, don't players have to pass physicals before the trade (including a waiver deal) becomes final?

    Maybe the illness is "roid withdrawal."

  • The story is perfect because neither Manny Ramirez nor Scott Boras have the slightest shred of credibility.

    Would Manny be so oblivious as not realize that he had a hernia in his groin that was making him play the worst baseball of his career?

    Sure.

    Is Boras so evil as to push a trumped up injury story just to secure himself one last commission out of Manny Ramirz?

    Sure.

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