White Sox acquire RHP Joaquin

Joaquin?  Joaquin who?  Joaquin Benoit?  I thought the Tigers signed him.  Joaquin Phoenix?  Is he a pitcher now?  Seems risky, but maybe he and Ozzie--

"the White Sox on Monday claimed reliever Waldis Joaquin off waivers from San Francisco."

Uh....who?  He's from San Fran...they had an awesome staff though, right?

"His fastball has been clocked at 97 mph."

Wow-e-wow-e-wow-e-wowza!  Bringing the heat!

"Joaquin, 23, earned a spot on the Giants' opening-day roster, but had a 9.64 ERA in four appearances."

Good grrravy, that's bad...but....well, it was only four appearances.  Who hasn't strung four abominably awful appearances together at the beginning of the season?  He's like Sergio Santos...if his season had gone the opposite route.

"He was optioned to Triple-A Fresno, where he was 1-2 with a 4.93 ERA in 23 appearances."

Oh, eww.  You know, now would be a good time to reiterate that ERA can be extremely misleading.

"8.9 K/9 in 40 2/3 innings split between Rookie ball and Triple-A."

Heeeelllllll yeah!  Who's the idiot, now??

"5.5 BB/9"

Just stop talking, STOP TALKING!

An great-stuff, no control guy if there ever was one.  Joaquin is way too young and way too electric for this to be dismissed as a worthless acquisition, but any hope that he's throwing 50-60 innings next season is probably the product of you drinking too much of the goofy juice.

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Peekaboo.

*quotes for this piece taken from Mark Gonzales of the Chicago Tribune and Ben Nicholson-Smith of MLBTradeRumors.com

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