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Get Off My Lawn

Ribbon Candy has spontaneously materialized in my purse. I’m not sure what to make of this. I’m going through an odd phase. Last  week I woke up thinking it was Wednesday, when it was actually Tuesday, on Wednesday I realized too late that my socks didn’t match, and to add insult to injury, I left... Read more »
By Jenny I.,
January 12, 2012 at 10:06 pm
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Here She Is...

I’ve decided that I would like to be the next Miss America. I am not kidding. I think I’d be great.  Yes, I’m too old. I have no discernable talent. I am not perky, dedicated to public service, or particularly graceful. But I still think this could work. My current beef with the pageant is... Read more »
By Jenny I.,
January 5, 2012 at 9:02 pm
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The Great Outdoors

I don’t camp. I say this only because I had some friends who do, and they always try to sell me on how great it is, and how I simply must try it. They go on and on about something called “The Great Outdoors,” and how you get to be outside, you know, in nature... Read more »
By Jenny I.,
December 27, 2011 at 1:05 pm
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Feel The Burn

I hate working out. I hate the machines, I hate the weights, and I hate the skinny girl who’s been on the treadmill for 45 minutes. She’s light and springy and breaking only a light sweat. I’m slogging away, wearing black baggy sweats and a Star Trek t-shirt that reads, “Resistance is Futile.” There’s got... Read more »
By Jenny I.,
December 12, 2011 at 8:20 pm
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Party On

I’ve never been what you might call “the life of the party.” I’m not the worst person to invite – I don’t stand in corners shooting eye daggers at people or espousing the dangers of chewing gum – but I’m definitely not the pivot around which any social gathering rotates.  Successful party going is a... Read more »
By Jenny I.,
November 27, 2011 at 2:59 pm
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When Did I Become Obsolete?

Really, when was it? One minute I’m trying to decode REM lyrics, the next minute I’m trying to figure out why in the hell kids today have to play their music so damn loudly. Bands I listened to in my youth are now featured on oldies stations. TV shows have decided that “Seriously riiight?” is... Read more »
By Jenny I.,
November 22, 2011 at 5:05 pm
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Shop-o-Rama

I have fallen prey to the siren song of the discount, the ever-present lure of a bargain. Yes, I have started shopping at Costco. It’s worlds away from regular, everyday shopping, and I like it. And why not? It’s a land of wonderment, where you can buy gallon jugs of olive oil, rice by the... Read more »
By Jenny I.,
November 10, 2011 at 6:09 pm
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Idiot Mittens

There are some people who make my face twitch. People who I just can’t stand, for no concrete reason. They come from all walks of life – city, suburbs, Fox News. I’m reminded of a kid I used to work with who fell into this category. Not only was he particularly irritating, he was generally... Read more »
By Jenny I.,
November 4, 2011 at 2:50 pm
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Fighting Crime with Really Big '80s Hair

Ok, this is HUGE news. According to the news feed I get from Yahoo… “KITT, the flame-throwing, river-jumping, talking muscle car from the `80s TV show ‘Knight Rider,’ is up for sale. Restored to its debut-season glory, the modified black 1982 Pontiac Trans Am is offered at $149,995 at a Dublin auto dealership.” Let’s start... Read more »
By Jenny I.,
October 27, 2011 at 8:44 pm
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Reflections on the Year, Part I

Ok, the “Part I” portion of the title is very hopeful; I’m assuming there will be a Part II but I may get very involved this week in doing absolutely nothing so I really shouldn’t be making any promises. 2011 has been a hell of a year. I survived my first year of teaching in... Read more »
By Jenny I.,
October 20, 2011 at 6:43 pm
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