Posts in category "Rants"

Guys: Catcalling women on the street is NOT ok

Brandon Paul tweeted this Wednesday: “I’ve had it w/these videos of women walking through NY n getting attention from men. Would y’all prefer if NO MEN said ANYTHING to you?” Paul, the former University of Illinois basketball standout turned undrafted douchecanoe, was referring, of course, to videos (including this one, that went very viral) taken... Read more »

Small talk in the elevator? No thanks.

I hate small talk. I mean I really hate it. Few things, in fact, make me angrier than small talk. It’s a complete waste of time. It doesn’t add anything to my day or my life experience. I recognize that there are occasions during which I will need to engage in small talk for the... Read more »

The apartment hunting saga part 1: Customer service (or lack thereof)

Friends, Romans, countrymen, esteemed colleagues and denizens of the Internet - Today I bring you the first part in what I hope is (but fear will not be) a short series chronicling what is rapidly becoming a massive pain in my posterior. You see, I am in what I politely refer to as apartment hunting... Read more »
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Quit farting in my general direction

Hey you! Yes, you! I don’t know you, but I won’t soon forget you. You and your friends were sitting near me and my date at the front bar at Sheffield’s Saturday night. It was crowded, so your group was pretty close to us. But you weren’t terribly annoying, so we didn’t mind. My date... Read more »

End exclamation points NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I make no secret of the fact I am a grammar nerd. I love semicolons; they’re one of my favorite pieces of punctuation. I’ll talk your ear off about why, though there’s still a use for it, the Oxford comma should be used sporadically at best. I’ll geek out over en dashes and em dashes.... Read more »

Abolish the death penalty ... NOW!

Joseph Rudolph Wood is dead. That much should not be a surprise to anyone. According to the Washington Post, Wood was sentenced to die in 1991 for shooting and killing his ex-girlfriend and her father in 1989. An NPR story said his execution in a prison complex in Arizona began as scheduled at 1:52 p.m.... Read more »
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Sidewalks are NOT for biking

Dear cyclists of Chicago: I wish I didn’t have to say this. I mean, it should be common sense. But apparently it’s not. And so I tell you this: SIDEWALKS ARE NOT FOR BIKING! SIDEWALKS ARE NOT FOR BIKING! SIDEWALKS ARE NOT FOR BIKING! Sidewalks are for … wait for it … walking. That’s why... Read more »

No more mandals, please

No more mandals, please
I’ll be the first to admit I’m not the world’s most fashionable guy. But I’m generally decent at knowing what looks good on people and what doesn’t. With summer fast approaching, there’s one thing that never looks good on anyone but nonetheless appears like clockwork once the weather in Chicago is consistently above 55 degrees.... Read more »

The Lion King needs to stay off my plane

The InterWebs and Blogosphere erupted yesterday when video of the Australian cast of the lavish Broadway musical The Lion King performing an impromptu rendition of “The Circle of Life” (one of the hits from the musical as well as the original cartoon movie) on a flight from Brisbane to Sydney surfaced. It was posted and... Read more »
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How to get away with murder

Are you rich? And in Texas? Then boy do I have some good news for you! If you decide to get yourself hammer drunk (and take a couple Valium for good measure) and then decide to drive your big-ass pickup truck and lose control of said pickup truck and cause the deaths of four people... Read more »