Posts in category "Dating/sex"

I will always love my dog more than you

I will always love my dog more than you
A message to anyone I will ever be romantically involved with in the future: I will always love my dog more than you. It doesn’t matter how long we’re together. It doesn’t matter how close we are. I will always love my dog more than you. A couple days ago, Dan Savage published this letter... Read more »

Kids + online dating profiles = bad

In my mind, there are very few hard and fast rules for constructing an online dating profile. Don’t be boring. Use proper spelling and grammar. Post pictures that accurately show how you look. Beyond that, almost anything goes. But I want to propose a new rule for online dating profiles: NO MORE PICTURES WITH KIDS!... Read more »

Let's talk about oral sex

A question for all of my female readers who enjoy having sex with men: Do you enjoy performing oral sex on men? I know that seems like an odd question, but I have a reason for asking. Recently, I was having a conversation with someone who asserted that no woman enjoys performing oral sex on... Read more »
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Let's talk about date-cest

Hey look! It’s my 50th post here at ChicagoNow! Barkeep! Another round for me! Onto the blogging at hand. As big cities go, Chicago’s pretty damn small. Especially if you’re an active dater. The dating world in Chicago is pretty incestuous, for lack of a better term. I don’t mean literally incestuous (which would imply... Read more »

So ... is it a date?

Nobody uses the word “date” anymore. Well, they do, but it’s rarely used when it’s needed. Nobody ever says to anyone “Would you like to go on a date”. It’s always “Do you want to hang out?” or “Would you like to grab a drink?” or something akin. For the record, I’m as guilty of... Read more »

Must love beer

Everyone has their own dating deal-breakers. Most of mine are pretty standard – no Republicans, no Holocaust deniers, no Cubs fans, nobody who hates fun, nobody who doesn’t know what language is spoken in England (ask me about that one). Normal stuff like that. But I’ve come to the realization that I have one that’s... Read more »
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Dating is the definition of insanity

I don’t like dating. I know that sounds like an odd thing for me to write, given how much I write about it. But it’s true. I really don’t like dating. It’s a pain in the butt, really. You’re meeting so many new people and trying to keep them all straight in your head. You... Read more »

I'm having better sex than most of you

You should all be jealous of me. Well, not all of you. But all of you who are right-handed should be jealous of me. Statistically, that means about 90 percent of the people reading this should be jealous of me, as it’s generally thought that right-handers make up about 90 percent of the population. Want... Read more »

Single and nice are not enough

Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement of great social and political import! Attention friends/relatives/loved ones of single people: STOP TRYING TO SET YOUR SINGLE FRIENDS UP WITH NICE PEOPLE! My friend Stephanie pointed something out to me earlier today. Many single people have found themselves at one point the target of a well-meaning but... Read more »
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Words words words

I hate the word “eclectic.” It’s just not a good word. I’d even call it a cop out. Too often, it gets used to describe something that someone is too lazy to describe in any specific or meaningful sort of way. And when that happens to a word, it loses all of its meaning and... Read more »