Funeral processions should be outlawed

I've never understood the reasons behind the funeral procession.

Anyone who's spent any time driving has been caught by one. They're hard to miss. A long line of cars with orange flags flying, their headlights on and their emergency flashers blinking. They run every light that gets in their way and hold up traffic and generally get in the way.

And it's time we outlawed them.

The biggest problem with funeral processions is that they're not safe. The running of red lights is the worst part. Nobody ever expects normal-looking passenger cars to run red lights. And despite the fact that they have their headlights and emergency flashers on and the orange flags, you can't really see them until it's too late and they're barreling through the intersection. They're a traffic hazard.

But that's not all. I almost feel bad bringing up the fact that funeral processions are a massive inconvenience for all the other drivers on the road. Almost. But they are indeed a massive inconvenience. They hold up traffic, whether by driving far too slowly for traffic conditions (which they always do) or by disregarding traffic signals and signs. And the problem is that they could be any length, depending on how many people were at the funeral and are going to the grave site. So you never know how long they'll be in the way.

And let's not forget that funeral processions are now completely useless. In the days before GPS and smartphones and all that fun technology, it was much more difficult to find your way from the site of the funeral service to the cemetery, especially if you were in a place you hadn't spent much time. So the procession was an easy way to make sure everyone found their way.

But these days, that's not necessary. Nobody needs to follow a convoy to get anywhere anymore.

So why, then, do we continue the tradition? Frankly, there's no good reason. So let's do what should have been done a while ago and end this silly practice.

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Filed under: Miscellaneous

Tags: funeral

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