Words words words

I hate the word "eclectic."

It's just not a good word. I'd even call it a cop out. Too often, it gets used to describe something that someone is too lazy to describe in any specific or meaningful sort of way. And when that happens to a word, it loses all of its meaning and effectiveness.

I see the word "eclectic" all the time in profiles on dating websites. Most often, people use it to describe their taste in something without really describing it. They describe their taste in music as "eclectic." They describe their taste in movies as "eclectic." But it means nothing. Well, that's not totally true. But when I come across the word "eclectic" in a profile, it makes me think that they're either too lazy to really describe their tastes or they're far too afraid that specifically describing their tastes will alienate potential matches. And either way, it's a turnoff and generally makes me move on.

But "eclectic" is not the only overused word or phrase I regularly see in dating website profiles. One I see all the time is "laid back." People love to describe themselves as "laid back." And I hate when they do that. When you describe yourself as "laid-back," I think that you're trying to pretend you're too cool for school and that nothing ever bothers you. I call BS. I spent my life in high school trying to pretend I didn't give a flip about anything. I thought it was cool to be apathetic and that nothing ever bothered me.

But you know what? It wasn't cool. It was an act and people saw right through it. And when I read "laid back" in a profile, it makes me think you're trying to act like what I was trying to act like in high school. And I have no desire to date someone who wants to be what I wanted to be in high school. Apathy and aloofness aren't cool. Be passionate about something. That's what's truly cool.

Let's talk now about the phrase "drama free." That's another I see all the time and it produces perhaps the most visceral reaction of any of the words/phrases I've discussed here. Why? Because it's almost always a lie. When someone feels the need to describe himself or herself as "drama free," it's most likely because they tend to get involved in or even thrive on romantic drama. And frankly, at the ripe old age of 29, I'm too old for that crap. And so when I read "drama free" in a profile, I almost immediately click away.

The biggest problem with all the words and phrases I've referred to is that they're cliches. They're overused. They're trite. They're banal. And that's why I hate seeing them in dating site profiles. I don't want to date someone who's just like everyone else. I want to know that you're capable of some original thought and some degree of creativity. And above all, I want to get a sense of who you are via your profile. And describing yourself in cliches does not accomplish that.

Before I get going, folks, I want to share something with you. Where the Beer and Whiskey Flow now has an official Facebook home! I'll be sharing my posts there and also hopefully interacting with all you fine folks there. So point your browser of choice to https://www.facebook.com/wherethebeerandwhiskeyflow, give the page a like and don't hesitate to say hi. Cheers.

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Filed under: Dating/sex

Tags: dating, online dating

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