Smell ya later

Smell ya later
Since I began this blog on Nov. 7, 2013, I have tried to be the best blogger I can be. I’ve written things that have made people happy, sad, angry and every emotion under the sun. I’ve written posts that I’ve loved and posts I’ve hated. I’ve written posts that have made me incredibly uncomfortable... Read more »

Goodbye, David Bowie

Goodbye, David Bowie
David Bowie died. He died after battling cancer for 18 months. His website reports he died peacefully surrounded by his family. David Bowie brought me a lot of happiness over the years. He brought a lot of people a lot of happiness. I can’t say what he meant to everyone. Hell, it’s hard to put... Read more »

Warning: I may tell your kids Santa isn't real

Attention parents: I may tell your kids Santa isn’t real. I won’t do it on purpose (unless you ask me to). But if I am out in about in the world talking to other people who are out and about in the world and I happen to be discussing the topic of Santa Claus and... Read more »
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A view of Chicago that only lives in my head

Anyone who’s lived in Chicago for any length of time has their favorite view of the city. I saw that view in the summer of 2006. I was walking south down the lakefront path, a bit north of Soldier Field. It was about 5:30 a.m. I’d been walking all night. I had started at Soldier... Read more »

Just 'cause you're hung like a moose doesn't mean you gotta do porn

At first blush, you wouldn’t think the movie Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle could provide much in terms of wisdom. But in this iconic scene, there’s actually a line that’s profound and eloquently uncouth. At the end of the scene, Kumar provides this bit of uncouth wisdom: “Just ’cause you’re hung like a... Read more »

The Vasectomy Chronicles part 7: Now we wait.

Hopefully, this will be the second-to-last post in the Vasectomy Chronicles series. If all goes well, by this time tomorrow, I’ll have been told I am officially sterile. If you recall, a man is not immediately sterile following a vasectomy. Some sperm can still survive about the point where the vas deferens was cut and... Read more »
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The Vasectomy Chronicles part 6: I got snipped!

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s official. Shortly before 12:30 p.m. on Friday, Aug. 14, 2015, my doctor finished my vasectomy, rendering me permanently unable to have children. And I could not be happier about it. I have never wanted children. The idea of it never appealed to me. I have never looked at my friends and... Read more »

The Vasectomy Chronicles part 5: I told my parents I'm having a vasectomy

I told my parents I’m having a vasectomy. And then I ate a plate of brisket tacos. My mom knew, or at least was pretty sure. She subscribes to this blog and while I don’t know if she reads every entry, I’m pretty sure she reads the little snippets that accompany the email alerts. My... Read more »

The Vasectomy Chronicles part 4: It's on!

Ladies and gentlemen: It’s on! That’s right, cats and kittens, I have officially scheduled my vasectomy. The procedure will take place at noon on Friday, Aug. 14. And I’m jazzed like you would not believe. I wasn’t in a good mood when I arrived for the consult. I had gotten stuck in unnecessarily awful traffic;... Read more »
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The Vasectomy Chronicles part 3: Pre-consult jitters

Ok, folks. I could use some good vibes. Here’s the deal. In exactly 10 hours is my pre-vasectomy consultation. I’m not really sure what it entails. All I know is that I had to fil out a lot of paperwork ahead of it and it could very well end with me actually scheduling the vasectomy.... Read more »