A few weeks back one of my dear blogger friends, High Gloss and Sauce wrote a piece with the title "Life is Always Good". It really touched me as prior to 2014, I was a rose colored glasses kind of gal.
Yes, I have certainly had struggles in prior years and admit that the older I get the rosey shades have grayed a bit. But I have always chosen hope over losing faith. Always looked for the silver lining instead of focusing on the black clouds. Until this year.
For anyone who reads my words you know that this year has been difficult. Not to be repetitive but I will give you a quick recap:
1) January 1st after praying for a better 2015, my father was admitted to ICU for erratic blood pressure issues. He remained hospitalized and in rehab for six weeks.
2) I was just coming off chemotherapy for breast cancer and recovering from a double mastectomy, still bald and very, very scarred.
3) In March I had reconstructive surgery.
4) In mid May, my father was diagnosed with a Glioblastoma brain tumor. On August 2, he passed away. That left his brother, my favorite Uncle as the patriarch of the family.
5) In October, that Uncle passed away suddenly. Ten. Weeks. Apart.
6) My oldest daughter tested positive for the BRCA gene.
7) My youngest daughter tested positive for the BRCA gene.
8) My sister tested positive for the BRCA gene.
9) In the span of one month, 6 friends lost their parents.
There is no number ten.
So, after a year like this one wonders how to move forward with positivity and hope. I'm not looking for sympathy by recapping; I am stating the facts of my year and trying my best to sort through it. How to put some rose back in my glasses again. Like my friend High Gloss, I did have some really good things happen this year.
1) I survived breast cancer - FOR THE SECOND TIME. I live.
2) I traveled more than I ever have; to places I've never been. I dined in Paris; I toured Rome. I saw the statue of David in Florence; I walked the Spanish Steps. I went zip lining in Mexico; hiked in the mountains of California. I lived.
3) I spent an infinite amount of time with my daughters who happen to be the greatest loves of my life. We laughed, we cuddled. We shopped, we played Cards Against Humanity. We drank lots of wine while we toured Rome, we were blessed to have the opportunities to travel together. We lived.
4) My business took an upswing after seventeen years of hard work. The phrase that "good things come to those who wait" actually meant something to me. I worked hard despite the difficulties that not just I, but my whole family faced. It paid off. I kept living.
5) I became much closer with my brother and sister in law when my father took ill. We spent almost every weekend together this summer and despite the reason, we all were able to enjoy my father's last weeks and tighten our family. We lived.
6) Both of my girls started new jobs this year. They continue to better themselves and make us proud and give us hope for their futures. They live.
7) My husband has been my rock through all of this. We have cried and laughed and laughed and cried. We have talked for millions of hours and not talked at all. We have continued to strengthen our bond through tragedy and triumphs. We live.
The moral of the story here is that we must continue to live through the tough times. We have to move forward; we cannot give in to the sadness. We must focus on our blessings of which I have an abundance and I hold very tightly to them.
Remember in The Shawshank Redemption when Red declares it's time to "get busy living or get busy dying"?
That's Goddamn right.
So 2014 you will be a distant memory someday. I won't forget you but I will not let you ruin any future years, I will take on 2015 with the rosiest of glasses and hope. Always. Choose. Hope. (To quote my other dear friend over at Mary Tyler Mom!)
Happy New Year to all!
Resolve to stick with me in 2015!
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