As of right now I have officially celebrated fifty five New Years Eves. I certainly don't remember the first five or so but of the ones I can remember, there are very few that ever lived up to hopes or expectations. Which begs the question: is is really that big of a deal?
When I was a child, the only NYE's I can recall are the ones that we spent with another family. My parents had friends with daughters around the same age and my siblings and I. The family would come over and while the parents did their thing upstairs, we kids would spend the evening in the basement playing house and other games kids played before the invention of computers and video games. Those were some memorable evenings. Even all these years later I remember them with a smile.
Fast forward to high school and the only New Years Eve I really remember was my senior year when I was so stinking drunk I got out of a car to go into a party not realizing my purse had fallen out of the car. I spent New Years Day with a mighty hangover and while I did eventually recover the purse, it had been run over and my brand new prescription glasses were crushed. Epic fail of a night.
Fast forward again. NYE 1980. I am bored. Hanging out with a male friend we drive around aimlessly and decide we'd rather be in Florida. We board a plane sans luggage or toothbrush and spend three days in Miami. Fun but it took me forever to pay off the credit card I used to pay for the rather impulsive, ridiculous trip.
Then I am married with children and those New Years Eve's were special just hanging out together. We spent NYE 1999 at IHOP. Seriously? A new century and we are eating pancakes? Rubbery ones?
Last year I admit to having thrown the party of a lifetime. We had just moved into our new home and at the last minute (48 hours before) planned a party that was nothing short of spectacular.
But now here I am. My girls, who spent it with us last year have other plans. I don't have the energy to throw a party again and sometimes as we all know, things are never the same repeated twice. So why am I sitting here on December 27th agonizing over what we are going to do? Why do I feel pressure to do something?
Hotels and restaurants have their over priced specials. Nightclubs, for which I am much too old for have their specials as well. Liquor flows and music blares. Drunk drivers abound.
I know that people are looking to celebrate the New Year. To ring in a fresh start with resolutions that may or may not be followed. But why is it so critical to have a plan? I am the most guilty of this! My husband could care less. He would be perfectly happy doing the same thing he does every single night. Why aren't I? Why do I feel the need to do something to celebrate?
Every December 31 I reflect on the year past and decide what I am going to change or what I hope the next year will bring. Should this be celebrated?
For me, 2013 has been one shit year. A second round of cancer, a mastectomy, losing my hair. Not the way I like to remember years gone by. So of course I am wanting to celebrate the END of this year and the start of what I hope to be a healthy new one. The question remains though, why am I stressing over marking it?
What we will do remains to be seen, It's not like we have a lot of time to figure it out. Who knows, last year we had the party of a lifetime on 48 hours notice. This year we may sit at home, drink some drinks and hit the sack at 12:01. I will then proceed to attempt to live up to my few resolutions and get my year underway. And next year at the end of December I will be asking once again what I should do on New Years Eve.
And being there is all I should be worried about.
What about you? Do you worry about what you're doing NYE? Any great ideas?
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