Don't get it. Don't like it. Don't like them. And realistically speaking, who does?
Looking back over my life I can remember all too many mean girls that reveled in other girl's miseries. The girls that loved to try making others feel inferior and in doing so, made themselves feel good. But that was when I was young. What I have discovered recently is that mean women are worse than mean girls. Maybe it's because these mean women have had years of experience to refine their meanness. And that is just plain sad.
Practice makes perfect, right? It has always made sense to me as a female that I had more male friends for a reason. I can't stand competition, I can't tolerate pettiness. And I don't fare well when mean girls say things that are intended to dig a knife in your back and worse, your heart.
When I first got married my husband was taken aback at the number of male friends I had vs female. It always made sense to me, boys/men were kinder, gentler. There wasn't any sense of competition, no jealousy or attempts to belittle me. Women were always good at that and it was natural for me to gravitate towards those people that I spent time with and felt good.
But as an adult female it baffles me why women can't play nice. As kids there was always the excuse that the girls weren't mature enough to know that they were really damaging others. I got the crap kicked out of me in seventh grade by a mean girl. I am fifty five and still remember it like it was yesterday. That episode made her feel good, superior and tough. Her friends triumphed right along with her. But that was physical meanness. The verbal mean girl is so much more hurtful.
I recently had an encounter with someone I thought was a friend. I expressed my upset at something that was said to me; something that I am sure was said to make me feel awful about myself. When I couldn't shake the feeling I went to the source. What I received in return was a barrage of insults that were completely unrelated to the issue. It was as though there was a hidden agenda within those insults that were meant to make me feel like the world's worst human being. I'm far from perfect but I am not a horrible person. And only a mean person can be so effective and successful in manipulating a person to feel that way.
Whatever she gained by hurling her insults will always be beyond me. Whatever any mean girl or women gains from it will remain a mystery. Other than getting satisfaction in a sick way making others feel bad, there is no explanation.
So, after a few days of feeling lousy I had a thought:
That's it. Ever had a mean friend? I'd love to hear about how you handled it. For real. Tell me.
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