My first yoga session as told by my brain

My first yoga session as told by my brain

Hmmmm, this seems pretty easy. Just sitting here on this rubbery mat barefoot. I didn't have to wear those strangling gym shoes. This room is warm, cool. Oh, looks like she is getting started. I hope she doesn't mind that I have no idea what I'm doing.

Okay so here we go. Some stretching! Okay! I can totally do this. I really need to stretch a little anyway, I've been feeling stiff. Wait a minute, I can't stretch quite that far. Well, she won't notice, it's not that obvious. Jeez, look at that woman over there, she must come here all the time. Freakin' showoff.

Okay, I'm feeling a little less stiff, this is good. Really good. I can't really understand the names of some of these positions so I better just follow along and pretend I do. Oh, Children's pose? Damn, this is so easy! I am so enjoying this, so relaxing.

Wait, just wait a minute. Do what? Stand on one leg? Seriously?? Oh great, love falling in front of the whole class, very graceful. Let's try that again with the other leg. Just focus on the floor and try to keep your balance. Nope, that's not gonna work either. Thanks teacher for telling me that it's okay in front of the class. That's sweet.

Thank you for letting us lay down again. I don't mind this downward dog thing but the blood kinda rushes to my head. No, you're joking right? Holding my legs up vertically? Sorry, these flabby abby's have about as much strength as jello. Damn those little bones at the bottom of my back are kinda digging in the floor and it hurts like a son of a bitch.

Oh cool, back to children's pose. That laughing baby thing was actually really fun. I love looking like I'm about to give birth in a room full of people. I thought the whole idea of yoga was to relax. Hardly feel relaxed right now. Now I have to lunge with my foot face down. Cramp. Big cramp. This whole experience is giving me cramps. She thinks I'm a whiner.

What now? What did she say? Oh cool, everyone is laying down flat and she turned the lights down. Nap time! Now this is awesome. Savasana she said?

Can't wait for class Friday.


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