There's an inordinate amount of football going on in my house right now. I've always been annoyed that what should be a time slot of an hour and fifteen minutes stretches out into three hours. Time outs, flags, play stops and all the other reasons this happens just plain and simple irritates me. How does this equate to raising children you ask? Well, maybe you didn't ask but I will tell you.
Despite my girls being "all growed up", they still call me and text me regularly, every single day. I love that about them. However, there are times throughout the day that I my be working and I am interrupted by things like "I totally want to fly to Denver, can you book me a flight on your miles?" Or, "I ordered new contacts, can you go pick them up? I won't be in the suburbs so I can't get them." Hmmmm. Thought I'd been let off the hook a little since they moved out. Nope.
When kids are babies and toddlers their demands are always there. For every minute we think we can get something done, we usually have to add five to thirty minutes to finish a task due to interruptions. For example. a mom is getting her infant and two toddlers out of the house for a lunch date with a friend at noon. (First mistake is the whole lunch date thing as you just know you won't get three words in without being interrupted, cleaning a face, calming hysteria or taking someone to the bathroom.) Raising children takes a lot of minutes!! Even when they are older!!
So, if you are going to plan a lunch date for noon, your friend who may not have kids (or especially if she does) should automatically know that the actual time will be at least 12:30 or 1:00. Let's think this through.
Your plan is to leave the house at 11:45. You begin the process by getting your kids dressed. It's 10:30. Now, for each time you are faced with a time sucker the clock stops. Little Susie wants to wear something else. She is crying hysterically. Thank God the clock has stopped for you as fifteen actual minutes have gone by before you've been able to calm her down and convince her to stay in what she is wearing. Good to go. Not just yet.
Baby Joey has just had an explosive shit in his diaper. This not only requires a diaper change but a quick bath. The clock has stopped again. Plus, you've got a few time outs to stop the clock for just these sorts of extra things like the bath. Then there is your oldest, miss cranky pants. She does NOT want to go to lunch with your friend because she hates her. She smells funny and looks weird. She is on the floor in a ball being a little stubborn ass. Penalty flag.The clock stopped so again, you are good.
Once you are in the car, you realize that you have no gas. This is a solid time out. By the time you arrive it is 1:00 and you should be considered absolutely on time. Football time.
I believe that the football clock should be the new way of life for all moms. It does not matter how old our kids are either. Somehow they will always make us late. I personally don't mind it these days. My kids still need me and I'll take any time I can to help them out, spend time with them or whatever it is they want.
I think this idea has scored me a touchdown. I can't believe I just said that.
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