Christmas Gift giving: Boys, don't blow it

Christmas Gift giving: Boys, don't blow it

It's getting near Christmas and lots of ladies are wondering what their significant other is going to get them. They are wondering ALOT. Of course it depends on what type of relationship you are in and how long you have been together but they want to receive something that is not going to make them smash it over your head. Boys, you have your work cut out for you.

I've been lucky with the gifts I received from my husband because at least when it's important, he comes through. He listens and probably values his manhood more than others. But there were guys before him that were not quite as intelligent. Like the guy I dated for six months, spent a fortune on a new wardrobe for him and he showed up at my door drunk with an unwrapped gift. It looked as though he had stolen the Stanley Cup but it was actually a wine bucket. One I'd seen for $19.99. Didn't get it then, don't get it now.

We want to understand the gift you are buying us. We want to know your reason; your thought process. Not "I've known this gal for six months and I think I will get her something she has never asked for, never indicated she would like and will most definitely NOT get me laid".

Although some women may argue this point, it doesn't always have to be jewelry. It's certainly nice but if you have only been dating a short time, you can get away with something else. You may want to listen closely to her when she talks, even if she is telling you during a key play in a Bears Game. Because if you don't listen and take note, you will suffer.

I wish there were a class for this but in lieu of that you just have to pay attention to a few things. There are levels of personal that you either want to reach or don't dare cross. If you've only been on a few dates and want to get her something, don't buy her underwear. She may not like you enough to sleep with you yet or at all so be careful.

Try to recall what her tastes are. Is she really into music? Does she like the theater? Concerts? Does she enjoy sports? What do you have in common that you both enjoy doing? Does she love to shop at a certain place where you could pick something out for her? What's her favorite perfume? Does she have a favorite actor/musician/celebrity/comedian? If your relationship is more serious, does she have a favorite kind of jewelry? Does she wear a watch? Does she wear underwear? If you've slept with her, the whole underwear thing is okay.

If it's your wife I have always been a firm believer that appliances are not a romantic, loving gift. If you buy her a washing machine, you are just telling her that you want her to do your laundry forever. An iron? I'd make sure that that wrinkled thing between your legs never got straightened out if you know what I'm saying.

It all boils down to listening. It doesn't always have to be the most expensive thing either. Take mental notes during conversations about what she likes. My husband has always been unusually good at that. He may not listen to me all the time (okay hardly ever) but ironically always hits gifts right on the head. And at times they are more thoughtful than expensive. And I have no problem with that. So ladies, if it pisses you off that he didn't spend enough on that very thoughtful gift, he should dump your spoiled ass.

One of my most memorable Christmas gifts ever was from a boy I dated in high school. We were walking through JC Penney in Golf Mill Shopping Center, circa 1974. He asked me to help him pick out a Christmas gift for his sister. She was only a year younger so that made it easy. I picked out a groovy silver Speidel chain bracelet with a round disc in the middle for engraving. I LOVED it.  Come Christmas he gave ME that bracelet. He had tricked me into picking out my own gift. There's a reason I never forgot. It was THOUGHTFUL.

So boys just listen. Be smart. Shop thoughtfully and early. Get to that store now or you may regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.

 

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  • Boys, don't blow it? Women fail just as frequently, if not more often, than men when it comes to gift buying. Quick three examples
    -Men don't want clothes that you think they'll look handsome in. There's nothing worse then having to wear a gift we don't like just because make you happy.
    -Men don't need anymore tools for their next project around the house. They'd probably rather pay somebody to do the project for them.
    -Men don't really want anything baked for them. We appreciate the time and love you put into the cooking, but spoil us with a seafood feast, 160z prime rib, or fall-of-the-bone BBQ ribs

    Ladies take notes.

  • In reply to Russell Amor:

    Good comeback. I only buy my husband what he asks for or has said he wants. It's all about listening and yes, women can do some of that too. Thanks for writing.

  • In reply to Russell Amor:

    Russell, you are on the money! When I first started dating my husband, I bought him these clothes for our first Christmas together that I shudder to think of now - they were so TOTALLY not his style!!! To this day, I am horrible at choosing appropriate gifts for anyone, and I follow Teppi's advice: just ask and listen. Now my husband, on the other hand, seems to know just what I need without my asking. Boy or girl, buying the right gift is a real talent - and one that I don't possess.

    Teppi, thanks for reminding us about the fine points that help some of us through the process - and, by the way, I LOVED your high school sweetheart story, sure hope my son grows up to be that thoughtful at that age.

  • I always tell a man not to buy a women anything that needs to be plugged in unless she requests it.

    Loved the story about how you were tricked into buying your own gift!

  • The high school sweetheart that bought me that beautiful bracelet passed away in 2002. I contacted his sister and told her about the bracelet and how I had never forgotten what he did. It truly was one of the most thoughtful things I can remember and she appreciated the memory. That bracelet is somewhere in my house; now I am going to find it!!

  • In reply to Teppi Jacobsen:

    Oh my gosh! How sad! I hope you find the bracelet. Will you keep it or give it the sister?

  • That is sad. I sure hope you find that bracelet but on the off chance that you don't, what a wonderful memory he left behind without even realizing it. Shows the impact even our seemingly little deeds can have on others.

  • I know it's supremely unromantic but I ask my husband to pick out two or three things he wants and then I choose one (and buy it with what is ultimately his money I guess.) He always wants obscure electronics AND he's very picky about which type, how many RAMS, etc. I try but he's tough to shop for!

  • siblingless if I find the bracelet I will keep it. Too good of a memory and he passed so long ago that I wouldn't even know where to find his sister anymore. Couldn't find her on FB. If I do find it, I'll post a pic. Thanks so much.

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