The Bachelor Baffle

The Bachelor Baffle

Since the very first season of the long running reality series "The Bachelor" , when Alex dumped the "I've never had an orgasm" Trista, I have continuously questioned my sanity for watching the program. Yet, as every new season draws near, I find myself giving in to the torture. I have managed to skip a few which ironically included the infamous Brad Womack season. For anyone living in a cave who doesn't know who Brad is, he left both women at the end of his season and remained yes, "The Bachelor". He was drawn and quartered for it; I thought it took guts to say "hey, I don't want either one of them". Yet, for some reason the producers decided America hadn't had enough of what should be called "The World's Most Boring Bachelor" and brought Brad back for another round.

Each season I ask myself the same questions. How can twenty five women all fall in love with the same man? How can someone fall in love on a reality show? What are the odds of a proposal at the end? If there is and she accepts, how soon until they break up? And the biggest question of all: why would anyone want to subject themselves to the possible agony of defeat?

Typically at the beginning of any season it's easy to spot the nice women and even easier to spot the crazy ones. All the women have such hopeful looks on their faces until the rose ceremonies. Then if you look very closely you will see the small daggers in their eyes as each women next to them is given a rose. They wait with a mixture of hope, pride and the fear of rejection.

And then there is the Bachelor, right now it's still Brad,  who has already kissed and probably felt up a few of the women.  He passes out roses only to those who pass his specs. After our beloved host, Chris Harrison announces that "ladies, Brad,  this is the final rose tonight" the hopeful faces remaining have dimmed; the last ones standing without roses look crushed.

 As with every season there is always the quintessential psycho. This time it was model/beauty Michelle who I truly believed was capable of murder. After molesting Brad on the beach during a photo shoot, he decided she had gone just a bit too far. That hasn't stopped other Bachelors however, as Jake Pavelka enjoyed being massaged with mud by Vienna Girardi, his season's resident psycho.  He went on to propose, not surprising a soul when they broke up just a few short months later. Who can forget Jason proposing to Melissa only to retract the proposal, get back together with the runner up and marry her?

When the season reaches the final three contestants, there is always the envelope with the invitation to spend the night together in the fantasy suite. So despite Brad, or who ever the Bachelor is at the time claiming to be an upstanding, honest guy, he will more than likely sleep with all the women. And within a few days. I imagine each woman, who claims they are in love with him will give him all they've got. And oh how awful when they don't get a rose.

Right now the three remaining women are "so in love" with Brad. I have yet to figure out why as he is void of a personality. But I don't think that really matters as I believe the women are all in love with the idea of being in love. After fifteen seasons of The Bachelor and six Bachelorettes, the success rate of only two marriages speaks for itself.

Yet, saps like me will continue to swear off the show and then keep watching. ABC will continue to air The Bachelor in what will most certainly be the most dramatic seasons ever. There will be the most dramatic twists ever, the most exotic places ever and everyone will fall in love. And then one of the contestants will show up on Dancing With The Stars.


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