Boobs at the Barbershop

I've been going to barbers for as long as I can remember. I've gone to "hair stylist" before, but that only works when you have long hair and I don't have long hair.

I've not had long hair since High School which can be seen by my Senior Picture
One of my Senior Portraits

Sometimes I don't see the value in paying someone 35-40 to give me a buzz cut, so other than a few failed experiments of me thinking that growing my hair out would be a good idea, I've almost exclusively gone to barbers. 

I've also almost exclusively (except for the times when I think that a shorter or longer hair style works) worn a flat top. I came to terms years ago that no matter how I cut my hair, the only way that "really looks best" is a flat top. I think it's the easiest thing for men to do, just pick a hairstyle and go with it. I mean look at Donald Trump - obviously he's made that decision. By choosing one hair style we don't need to make that daily decision: do I wear it up, do I wear it down, it doesn't matter because with a flat top I can leave the house and not even comb my hair.

The only problem with short hair is that it takes a lot of maintenance. Ok, I'll give you a second to grasp your pearls and let a shriek escape from your lips, but it's true. I have to get my hair cut every two weeks otherwise I look like The Shaggy DA. Short hair only looks good short, after two weeks I pass that stage of being a cactus and quickly turn into a bush. And believe me you, a flattop that grows out is not pretty, in fact crew cuts that grow out are not pretty (think Chia Pet), it's amazing how strangely your hair grows.

So thus, I am sitting in my favorite barber shop waiting my turn. It's a Saturday afternoon and there are 6 people ahead of me. But I don't mind because they have wireless access and I only live a block and a half from this place.

Barbershops are an interesting place, this one in particular because it is a very mixed crowd, well mixed in that it has a lot of gay and straight clients. The guys here are friendly, they all know your name (if you go there often enough) and you never have any idea what the conversation of the day will be when you sit in their chair. Even though they have two big flat screens on the wall that play sports, they still have plenty of things for a boy to do whilst awaiting a haircut - magazines!!!!!!

They have a ton of magazines here from Vanity Fair to Maxim to the National Enquirer. Typically I'll spend my time catching up on the latest celebrity news by feverishly reading as many of the trash mags I can while I wait - because you know I would never buy them!!!!!

There is another magazine I like to read while I'm sitting in the waiting area.....Playboy! Now don't forget, back in the days when we had cable one of my favorite shows aws "The Girls Next Door" and I secretly enjoy straight porn so I like to look through Playboy and see what all the fuss is about. Ok, some of the articles are interesting, but Vanity Fair has just as good articles - oh wait VF is porn for women, I just figured it out.

But honestly, I like to look at the naked ladies as they're all sprawled out , wearing exactly what they entered this world wearing - NOTHING.

Ok, I'll also admit that gay boys are fascinated with boobs, vagina's not so much, but boobs - hell yeah. I guess it's because even though we're gay we like to pretend what we would do with them if we had them. The difference between us and straight men is that we want to play with them to just play with them and not play with them as a prelude to sex.

Yes, it's true, gay men can appreciate the beauty of women, i.e. Charlize Theron, Jerri Ryan (not George Ryan) Angelina Jolie or even Roseanne Baar (ok, I'm just kidding there). But we can appreciate a hot woman - the difference is, we just want to sit and play with their boobs - but we don't want to have sex with them.

One thing still intrigues me though - the vagina, I just don't get it - and no offense - but I don't want to : -)

So what do you look at when you go to get your hair cut?

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Tags: barbershop, WBTD archives

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  • sorry, you started with "boobs" and i couldn't focus for the rest of the post. let me know when you want to have the demystifying vaginas talk.

  • @Anna - I'm so sorry that I distracted you, I hope you weren't driving!

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