My Second Job is Selling Makeup

After all that intellectual education, I've settled on a part-time job selling makeup on the web. No, not Avon or Mary Kay, but a more precarious version of simply buying wholesale on one site and selling on another. It's high end designer samples, travel size samples, and full size makeup and cleansing products. Retail: $50.00. In the fashion trade, they call that a "jobber". In real life during a recession, you call it St. Nicholas leaving gold coins in poor kids shoes. I offer free shipping to sweeten the deal.

What does that have to with my bipolar disorder? Well, 1. I'm on disability, so there's only so much you can do for "work", and 2. having makeup helps me look better. It pulls my act together, even if it's just going to the Walgreens to pick up pills. It's also help me grow my hair long so I assume the look of a 17 teen year old.

Well, predictably, my house isn't in much order, nor my wardrobe of clothes. It's in a pile, skirts, tights, sweaters, and lately printed t-shirts, cat-in-the-hat pull over your knee wool socks, And, oh, yes, I bring my legs in to the arena. Because I have way long ones, at the age of 51 I can still shimmy into a pair of skinny jeans. It's not much of a life time feat, I know, but still an enviable one at any age. (note: I do not have children).

Aside from not impressing the pharmacy staff at Walgreens, because they see my birthdate at the top of the prescription and think, is this woman for real? I impress myself, because of the challenges of bipolar is that you feel like crap most of the time and it will reflect on your appearance. I got tired of people staring at me like I was a strung out junky - I mean, you really look that way, even in office clothes - so now I take care of my skin and hair. And now I look like a nice normal lady who dresses ridiculously young, but not on drugs.
I was the "pretty princess" type growing up, and not that I care about all that, but it's never too late to dress like a boy/girl. This is one of weird silver linings of being mentally ill, you can get away with murder.

The rumor, and the stigma, of bipolar, is to get "over yourself" I always wonder what that could possibly mean when being preoccupied with yourself is a situational programing of the disorder. Who else can you possibly be preoccupied with? So, is that a PC thing, or just another part of the stigma?

So my other job is selling makeup, Urban Decay, anyone? And you should see my skin and my legs.

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Tags: bipolar, style

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    Hi Joan
    I was reading your blog like I was reading my own story. I too am 51, went to UIC and am Bipolar I don't remember which. I am also on disability and have M.S. to boot. I was diagnosed about 5 years ago and have been out of the hospital since. And like you I have a sense of humor which can also be a curse. Just wanted to let you know that I can relate. Sara

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