Posts in category "Humor Vault"

Tim Wakefield refuses to stop playing 1970s VHS tapes in clubhouse

Tim Wakefield refuses to stop playing 1970s VHS tapes in clubhouse
From the Wait ’til this Year Humor Vault BOSTON–Boston Red Sox players say they’ve gotten used to 44-year-old Tim Wakefield’s strange phrases (“Anything good in the icebox?”) and drinking habits (“One-and-a-half Ensures ensures you’ll throw a good game!”), but they can’t help but be frustrated by his insistence on playing 1970s VHS tapes in the... Read more »

Philadelphia Eagles declared Super Bowl champions after preseason victory

Philadelphia Eagles declared Super Bowl champions after preseason victory
From the Wait ’til this Year Humor Vault NEW YORK–NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell declared the Philadelphia Eagles winners of Super Bowl XLVI after their solid 28-7 preseason victory over the Carolina Panthers Saturday. While the move surprised some fans, most were prepared for it given all the crazy ass talent the Eagles signed after the... Read more »

Sports fans everywhere pissed after learning about lack of NHL lockout

Sports fans everywhere pissed after learning about lack of NHL lockout
From the Wait ’til this Year Humor Vault NEW YORK–Sports fans around the world were livid Monday after learning that the NHL is “like the only fucking sport” not in danger of locking out. During a summer filled with chatter about a potential NFL lockout and a lost NBA season, fans “just sort of assumed”... Read more »
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Strengths and Weaknesses: Prince Fielder

Strengths and Weaknesses: Prince Fielder
Milwaukee Brewers slugger Prince Fielder leads the National League in RBI and is second in home runs. He’s set to become a free agent when the season ends. Let’s take a look at his strengths and weaknesses: STRENGTHS Success led Bill James to invent new statistic, Home Runs per Pound (HR/LB). Married woman with last... Read more »

Humor Vault Headlines

Jason Kidd surprised to learn that NBA Championship Trophy made of lightweight paper, Scotch tape Friends, family concerned about Ozzie Guillen after grammatically correct, curse-free Tweet Shaq “always thought free throws were only worth half a point,” now sees why everyone wanted him to practice them so much

Strengths and Weaknesses: Dirk Nowitzki

From the Wait ’til this Year Humor Vault Mavericks forward Dirk Nowitzki is a 10-time NBA All-Star and was named the league’s MVP in 2007. He’s helped his team to a great playoff run this year as he searches for his first title. Let’s take a look at his strengths and weaknesses (yes, I borrowed... Read more »
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Tyler Hansbrough closes mouth for a split second, dies

From the Wait ’til this Year Humor Vault INDIANAPOLIS–In a shocking development out of the NBA, Indiana Pacers forward Tyler Hansbrough died suddenly on Thursday after closing his mouth for the first time in his life. Ever since the start of his successful career at the University of North Carolina, fans, teammates and opponents wondered... Read more »

Carolina Panthers take QB with all eight draft picks

From the Wait ’til this Year Humor Vault “WAAAAAA!” cries Jimmy Clausen, who, according to several sources, is terrible at football. NEW YORK–In an unprecedented move, the Carolina Panthers selected a quarterback with each and every one of their eight draft picks. After accomplishing the unthinkable in 2010–somehow managing to make fans long for the... Read more »

Twins get revenge for last year's ALDS loss with single in 5th

From the Wait ’til this Year Humor Vault The game was delayed 20 minutes while the Twins celebrated Casilla’s single in the middle of the diamond. Casilla was injured badly during the celebration. NEW YORK–After getting swept by the Yankees in last year’s ALDS match-up–the fourth time in eight years the Twins were eliminated from... Read more »
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Humor Vault Headlines

After championship loss, Brad Stevens tosses crumpled up game plan toward garbage, misses badly Nationals manager Jim Riggleman clearly trying really hard not to laugh while telling reporters team could be good this year