Category: Cubs

Humor Vault Headlines

78% of sports fans think sports polls are just made up Rookie outfielder hears about upcoming road trip, excitedly packs up car with snacks and cooler Amid offseason chaos, Al Davis accidentally signs Dan Marino, an alpaca and a ham sandwich to separate free agent deals

Keeping Tabs: Tom Gorzelanny

Keeping Tabs: Tom Gorzelanny
Tom Gorzelanny was acquired by the Cubs along with John Grabow in the team’s weak attempt to bolster their roster at the 2009 trade deadline. Grabow was the key piece in the deal, posting a 3.24 ERA down the stretch for the fading Cubs, and Gorzelanny struggled in 13 games including seven starts. Gorzelanny would... Read more »

Cubs off-day trivia answers: 2003 Cubs

Question 1: Who led the 2003 Cubs in stolen bases? A) Corey Patterson (16) B) Tom Goodwin (19) C) Kenny Lofton (12) D) Mark Grudzielanek (6) Question 2: Which Cub hit two home runs in the Cubs’ 12-3 NLCS Game 2 victory? A) Alex Gonzalez B) Sammy Sosa C) Aramis Ramirez D) Moises Alou Question... Read more »
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Cubs off-day trivia: 2003 Cubs

Question 1: Who led the 2003 Cubs in stolen bases? A) Corey Patterson B) Tom Goodwin C) Kenny Lofton D) Mark Grudzielanek Question 2: Which Cub hit two home runs in the Cubs’ 12-3 NLCS Game 2 victory? A) Alex Gonzalez B) Sammy Sosa C) Aramis Ramirez D) Moises Alou Question 3: Who was the... Read more »

Cubs Week 18 Awards: Another good week, but Zambrano weak

Cubs Week 18 Awards: Another good week, but Zambrano weak
It’s official: the Cubs are firmly in the midst of an extended stretch of good baseball. While they slowed down a bit after their seven-game winning streak, they still managed to take two of three from the Nationals and followed that up with two of three from the Braves, including two in a row after... Read more »

Cubs Week 17 Awards: Best. Week. Ever.

Cubs Week 17 Awards: Best. Week. Ever.
It wasn’t really the best week ever, in the grand scheme of things. But as miserable as this season has been, a 6-1 week sure feels like the best week ever. Sort of like in the show Best Week Ever when someone like Andy Dick would win just because he didn’t expose his genitals or... Read more »
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Say, what's that Casey Coleman guy up to?

The Cubs refuse to give Casey Coleman a consistent shot here in this lost season (they trotted out 35-year-old Rodrigo Lopez again yesterday, curious to see if he could avoid sucking ass. He could not.), and I can’t help but wonder how he’s doing out there in Iowa. Let’s find out: After his most recent... Read more »

Cubs go yaaaarrrrd six times, throttle Pirates 11-6

Man, Soriano and Soto are heating up just in time for the trade deadline! Wait, what’s that? Oh. Fuck. ——— The Pirates are finally showing their true colors, having lost seven of eight. Look, I’m on their bandwagon just like everyone else, but c’mon, they’re right at .500. Rany Jazayerli put it best when he described... Read more »

Jim Hendry throws in the towel on throwing in the towel

Jim Hendry throws in the towel on throwing in the towel
I truly don’t understand. Does Hendry feel that if the Cubs win 75 games instead of 70 this season that Tom Ricketts will think differently of him? Does he think big market teams like the Cubs shouldn’t do what the Royals and the Pirates of the world often do this time of year, i.e. mortgage... Read more »
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Cubs Week 16 Awards: Honestly, I'm starting to feel like the Cubs may not make the playoffs

Cubs Week 16 Awards: Honestly, I'm starting to feel like the Cubs may not make the playoffs
It’s painful. I mean, it hasn’t actually been that painful since about early June when I gave up on the season and became numb to the daily embarrassments that came in the form of errors or bases loaded strikeouts, etc. But as I did some cleaning and reading on Saturday afternoon, I flipped on the... Read more »