From the Wait 'til this Year Humor Vault
NEW YORK--Sports fans around the world were livid Monday after learning that the NHL is "like the only fucking sport" not in danger of locking out. During a summer filled with chatter about a potential NFL lockout and a lost NBA season, fans "just sort of assumed" that the NHL would lose games this winter due to a similar dispute among players and owners, but it turns out the NHL is in great shape and is set to resume games this October. "Are you fucking serious?" asked sports fan Darrel Washington, clearly seething with anger. "You're fucking with me, right?" he asked as he laughed uncomfortably, his eyes filled with fear. "I don't ... don't do this to me, man." Washington's sentiments were echoed by millions of sports fans, and President Obama hinted that he might assign a Congressional task force to look into why the NHL always has to ruin everything.