Six Months Of Fatherhood

Six Months Of Fatherhood

It’s been six months since that warm Thursday night when our son came into the world just as Jimmy Kimmel’s show was coming on.

He looked around the room, cried a little and then because my wife had a tough delivery, he was given to me.

We instantly bonded, I was just in awe and he’s looking up at me like okay we gonna be together right?

In the days since we’ve bonded even more, first when he came home two days later, we enjoyed Stanley Cup playoff hockey together.

Then after I changed jobs and then I was home for a month, we bonded daily, watching car shows, the news and listening to jazz. Which still do that to this day.
If you ever want to change how you see the world, try looking through someone else’s eyes.

And there is no better view than the eyes of a child, a happy six month old boy.

To him everything is new, this dude doesn’t have bad days. Okay he craps too much, spits up, cries a little or pees out of his diapers. Clean him up and he’s good to go.

Now granted my wife does all of the heavy lifting with him, she’s up in the night and gets to him way before I do, if even hear it.
She generates the milk for him, preps his food, cleans him up and all that.

So yes I have some parental guilt because not only does she do yeoman’s work but I did go back to work after a month of being with our son every day.

That parental guilt grows, from the time you inadvertently hurt him for the first time (I was cutting his nails and nipped him twice), to not being able to be with him all the time.

Going to work is hell, not because I have a tough job, I’m in a good spot right now, but its leaving that little happy dude.

Same with some nights going to sleep, if he’s up and wants to play, you don’t want to disappoint or miss out on anything but you’re dead tired.
If he’s sleep, no biggie, you put him down but even I catch myself watching him sleep.

You hear it all the time about how someone’s baby is a miracle and they all are, seriously.

My mother calls our son “a little person” and that’s what he is, you are watching him grow before your eyes and its nothing short of amazing.

Now true you have people already asking about if you have another and some people do and I’m happy for them.

But our little guy was a miracle of science (not a “test tube baby” as the late comedian Robin Harris would say), because we met with a specialist and “had help” to get our son here.

It was not easy on my wife nor inexpensive, she struggled with stomach issues most of the pregnancy but our boy is worth it.

I’m still learning my role in being a dad but one I felt like I was born for, I think I will spend the rest of my life learning how to work with my son.

My late father made this look easy, he always had the answers and gave me such a great example. And even though physically he’s not here, I feel him walk with us as our son grows.

 

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    Charles W. Johnson

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