Every Day Is Father's Day For Me

Every Day Is Father's Day For Me
Three weeks ago I became a dad for the first time and I’ll never forget holding my son for the first time.
Since then fatherhood has had its challenges but the rewards far outweigh any crying, struggles or issues.
Last Father’s Day I was sorrowful because I was less than two months removed from losing my own dad.  Many of the father’s day commercials made me sad, I was still trying to close my dad’s estate and his four months sickness and passing was just too fresh.
It couldn’t be more different this year with my son (who ironically has many of my dad’s mannerisms), and with Father’s Day coming up this year, I feel like I get a present every day, to be with my son.
To watch him grow even at this early age, he’s a good kid, though sometimes fussy, and not crazy about bath time or diaper change time but he’s content otherwise.
I’ve looked at a lot of pictures of my dad holding me and the pride in his smile, I feel that now.
My friends who are dads told me I wouldn’t know love until I saw my son and they were right, that little man is my life. I happily take the responsibility for preparing him and defending him as well as supporting my wife as we raise him.
I often think about all the love I got growing up, how many people supported me and went out of their way for me but that my old man who was busy did work in time for me. There were several times in my life where he was my best friend, both as a small child, a college student and grown man.
I got 38 good years with my dad, he prepared me in ways I didn’t see coming and made me the man that I am. On the day he died, a good friend told me “he was the best man you ever knew”, no doubt about that.
I’m already making plans for his future to make sure he has the best opportunities and chances I didn’t get though I can’t complain about my childhood and the sacrifices my parents made for me.
But my dad didn’t complain about overtime or anything like that. He also didn’t make a big deal about father’s day and I was his third son. We made corny gifts or got him a mug or something like that but I know for my dad having his sons together (we had different mothers), that was his gift.
I found a picture the other day from over 30 years ago of me with my brothers sitting under the Christmas Tree and though we sat there fairly happy, I know that picture brought my dad a lot of joy.
He always told us to look out for each other and not act like we had different mothers, to him we were brothers and his sons.
We lost our eldest brother (Alex), 14 years ago and my father never wanted to speak about it, but Kevin and I do speak about it and maybe we are not as close as my dad would have liked. I never could have made it through last year with my dad’s illness, death and estate without Kevin.
The one thing that Kevin and I will always share despite out differences was our unconditional love for our dad.
And now I know that love for my son and that’s what Father’s Day is all about.

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