The Clapper: The Worst Christmas Gift I Ever Recieved

The Clapper: The Worst Christmas Gift I Ever Recieved

The worst gift I ever got at Christmas ended up being the last Christmas gift from my late grandmother (in either 1995 or 1996), talk about getting the last laugh. Momma Nan was a serious old woman but I can't help but laugh at my experience with the clapper. Best thing is I'm pretty sure she "re-gifted" it on me. It definitely gives me a happy memory of her.

So she gives me "The Clapper" on Christmas, at the time I took care of her landscaping and other odd jobs that (my now late), father didn't want to do. I used to cut people's lawns and do yard work stuffing a lawnmower and other equipment in the hatchback of a 1986 Nissan 200SX, hey I was college student and also worked at Montgomery Wards and I made it work, somehow.

Anyway my grandmother gives me The Clapper, I was a little surprised because she didn't give a lot of gifts and also because it was The Clapper, my dad thought it was hilarious but I was gonna try and make it work. So I hooked up my 19 inch black and white TV and my hideous yellow lamp to it.

Now hopefully in the almost 20 years since they have upgraded the technology on The Clapper because mine wasn't very good. Plus you have to remember you have The Clapper hooked up, reason being I'm one of those people who claps when something is really funny. So I'm in my room at home and laugh and clap at the TV and next thing you know I'm in the dark with the TV off.

Also that Clapper picked up any two sounds of noise together. At one point my basketball fell off the shelf and bounced on the floor twice. Once again I'm in the dark with the TV off.

And at that time, we had an electrical short in the bathroom across the hall. We had a 20 year old bathroom vanity that flickered twice before the light cut on. Guess what, somehow The Clapper picked that up, so I'm sleep at 3 in the morning and my dad comes down the hall to use the bathroom. He turns on the light and two flickers later, my ugly lamp and TV are on. But since that very vanity doesn't flicker twice when it goes off, my room is still lit and bright with a TV on.

Did I mention sometimes clapping intentionally didn't always turn it off?

It didn't, if you tried like the old lady in the commercial to clap in bed (which was a distance from the Clapper), it didn't always go out, so then you are clapping like a damn seal to get this stuff to turn off to no avail.

Eventually, you'd have to unplug it or hear my dad's mouth from down the hall because its after his bedtime and you are clapping like a studio audience trying to turn the TV off.

I think I tried the Clapper for a good month before finally giving up on it.

But I still laugh about it because my grandmother truly got that last laugh on it.

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    Charles W. Johnson

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