Do I need to start wearing my reading glasses in the shower?

glasses-glasseshop-jpg-201408071Can you read your shampoo bottle in the shower?

Well then, congratulations.

I can't.

I was blessed with good eyesight until my early forties. When I could no longer read a telephone book, it was time for reading glasses. Yes, we actually had to look up phone numbers in a gigantic, small print book not that long ago.

A magnifying mirror became a necessity in order to put on make-up without looking like Bette Davis in "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?" However, taking a shower has now become a reading nightmare.

Can you read the text? I can't.

Can you read the text? I can't.

Nice gray tube of what? Why is the print in white? Can you read this? Standing in the shower ready to wash my hair and now I haven't a clue what I just squeezed into my palm. Was that shampoo, conditioner or God forbid, sunscreen?

Why is the printing on these labels so damn small?

The bottles of toiletries in hotel rooms are the worst offenders. Knowing that the labels could never be read, once inside the shower curtain, I have my system down to perfection. The shampoo is always placed on the left side of the shower and the conditioner on the right to keep things straight. The body wash goes in the soap dish and the moisturizer stays by the sink. It's exhausting to keep track of these little agitators all in the name of good grooming.

detangleRevitalisant Tres Riche go ahead and work your detangling magic, as long as I don't use this for body wash.

Just this week I reached for a tube of moisturizer in the vanity of our bathroom. I smeared the white, rich cream all over my legs and arms but then noticed it felt a bit sticky. Something wasn't quite right. It wasn't being absorbed into my dry, alligator skin like my usual Vaseline Intensive Care with cocoa butter.
I reached for my glasses and read the label.


It was Chamomile Cleansing Milk to gently calm and clean my face.

Back into the shower to rinse and repeat.

Good old Pantene bottles.

panteneDo you notice anything unusual about the image on the left?

The shampoo opens at the top, while the conditioner opens at the bottom! Aren't those package designers at Procter & Gamble geniuses? All you have to remember is that you shampoo first, so that is on the top.  You condition your hair after you rinse out the shampoo so that is last, or at the bottom. Am I smart or what? No reading glasses necessary even when you don't have a matching set of Repair & Protect or Smooth & Sleek.

Being the resourceful problem solver that I am, I will take a black Sharpie and draw a big "S" for shampoo and a "C" for conditioner on my non-Pantene bottles so I won't have any more mishaps in the bathroom. Add a "B" for body wash. Facial cleaners will now live in the medicine cabinet and the moisturizers will reside under the sink next to the mouthwash.

Problem solved.

No reading glasses in the shower after all.

What was I thinking? You can't see a thing out of steamy, foggy reading glasses.

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