My child is not a bad kid, she has a sensory disorder

My child is not a bad kid, she has a sensory disorder

Pretty much since I became pregnant with my daughter; she has been challenging me.  It started with an unexplained black hole on her ultrasound to the full body scope she needed when she was eight weeks old.

She screamed a lot those first few months and quite honestly has not stopped screaming much the past six years.

Recently we as her parents have been struggling more and more with her lack of listening as well as other issues.  I reached out to my therapist friend, who within two visits, suggested I research sensory disorders specifically Proprioceptive (this word I can't spell, say or understand - which is causing me anxiety in itself.)

My first reaction is guilt.  I visualize myself yelling at my daughter to calm down, and now realize possibly she didn't have the proper tools to control her body. I now understand nobody wants to be yelled at and it solves nothing.

The past six months, maybe a year, there have been incidents that have happened at school, at classes, with family members and I am sure at friends' houses.  Instinct causes others to assume that she is bad.  I've heard hurtful comments and assumptions about my daughter that are too painful to repeat.

I wish those teachers, family members and friends would have instead tried other techniques when they see that she is clearly overwhelmed and having a hard time calming down.  Possibly removing her from the situation, trying positive feedback instead of negative or physical touch instead of words.

It is easy to judge when you see a kid out of control and it is easy to blame the mom.  In my case I do blame me.  I know that if I did not have multiple sclerosis, I would have more energy to spend one on one time with my daughter.  I know it affects her; she wants to go to therapy and wants to be in control of her body.

This is where we are and we need to deal with the situation.  I hope for support instead of gossip.

In conclusion, next time you see a mom sweating desperately trying to help her out of control child, consider that child may be unable to regulate their body for a variety of reasons.  That mom has most likely spent hours reading about the subject and more experimenting different techniques to bring peace to her child and home. That mom is stressed and tired and would love your support.

A simple smile from you could change her day.  Try it.

You might want to read something a little lighter like a relaxing epsom salt bath, yoga in airports and how to have your house smell like Pottery Barn. 

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