I've held this secret inside for over seven years. At the beginning it was really hard not to tell anyone, now I have suppressed it so long it is actually difficult for me to remember all the details.
My husband and I decided to keep the incident between us when it happened; our first-born was less than a year old. We didn't want judgment or comments from our families or others to think we were bad parents.
I've decided to share this because I meet many moms at Mom and Baby Yoga and I realize stuff like this happens to a lot more people than I thought at the time. The problem: NO ONE SHARES THE MISTAKES we make. We should. No mom is perfect.
My son was about nine months old and we were living in a 2-bedroom condo on Ashland. We finally were comfortable with our nap routine. As I had every day for weeks beforehand, I put my baby boy on his back in his crib and headed into the shower.
After my warm, luxurious shower, I headed into my babies room and HE WAS LAYING ON THE FLOOR.
I did a double take.
"I put him in his crib before my shower, didn't I?" I repeatedly asked myself.
He wasn't crying and seemed "normal" and I grabbed him and did a once over. My baby didn't have a scratch, bruise or even a scared look on his face. He seemed fine.
I remember giving him a snack and putting him in his swing and I knew in my heart that he was all right. Even as a new mom then, my mother's intuition told me he wasn't acting any different than he had before his nap and didn't seem injured.
But, I knew I had to call my husband. What if I kept this secret and he ended up having permanent brain damage?
My husband said what any responsible father miles away would say, "Call the doctor."
The doctor said what any trained medical professional would say, "Go to the Emergency Room."
I don't blame them, just as I worried, they didn't want to be responsible for internal bleeding or any other tragedy that can happen from falling out of a crib.
My husband and I took our babbling baby to Children's Memorial and sat in a waiting room with really sick kids for hours. Once we finally got back the worst part happened; I got questioned.
"Why was the baby left unattended?"
"Have you ever hurt or harmed your baby?"
Each question, dug deeper in my heart and my voice shook as I honestly responded to each question. Of course, in the back of my head I asked myself, "Am I fit to be a mother?"
We left a couple hours later with a healthy boy and hundreds of dollars in medical bills.
Today that baby is in second grade reading at a fifth grade level and clearly not harmed from the incident.
I still have no idea how he got out of that crib.
Has your child ever fallen out of the crib or rolled off the changing table or the bed? You might be surprised how often these things happen. Share your story below so we don't have to hold our mistakes in anymore.
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