Winter break is lovely for the hot chocolate pajama mornings with no rush to get out the door, time to see family, bake cookies and make a volcano. There is also a lot of time with nothing to do. My kids are used to structure and without any, sometimes Bad Mommy comes out.
Today was one of those bad mom days.
My first grader had a homework assignment to eat at a South American restaurant as his class is currently studying that continent. My preschooler was whining and not listening and I should have known then and followed my gut and stayed home.
Since I didn't want to be a failure mom and I had high hopes of creating this wonderful memory, I schlepped in the rain/snow to Las Tablas, a Columbian steakhouse, on Lincoln Avenue.
The moment we arrived the little one decided she did not want to be there. It started with standing in her seat, playing with knifes and spilling her water in the first three minutes. I searched and searched for my patience and used every distraction technique I could find. I told myself it wasn't her night and I shouldn't have brought them there even though the empanadas were delicious and I do think my boy learned a little about Columbian culture.
After a struggle to get in the car and buckled in like magic the gas light decides to turn on, the rain/snow/sleet continues and the kids are in the back seat bumping heads, whining, screaming, fighting. I couldn't keep my cool anymore and I screamed at them. I threatened to not allow them to go Legoland during Winter Break, even though I know I will most likely not follow through with my threat.
All the time my blood is boiling they are giggling and ignoring me and I get madder and it isn't pretty.
As I am screaming I am thinking of the 20 kids who are dead from the Newton shooting, I'm thinking of the mother's that lose children or the women who are not even lucky enough to have the opportunity to be a mother.
I should not be screaming. Although, my kids deserve it, it solves nothing.
Today I'm sad that I'm not being the best mother I can be.
Tomorrow I'm going to wake up and try again.
For more Bad Mom moments Like Ups and Downs of a Yoga Mom on Facebook.