Five Reasons Others Think I am a Bad Mom

Five Reasons Others Think I am a Bad Mom

I notice the eye rolls and hear the whispers from ladies that haven't quite gotten past high school (even though they are in their late 30's).  I try my hardest not to let it bother me. According to some, I a bad mom.

1. I allow my daughter to draw on her baby's head.  Nobody else in our house is into dolls, and she wanted her baby to no longer be bald.  Seems logical to me.

2. I let my kids jump on their beds.  It isn't my bed and it is simple, free and qualifies as exercise, right?

3. I don't give my kids a bath every day.  I don't shower everyday, why do they need to?

4. I allow my kids to wear two different socks.  Sometimes it is hard to find the stinking match and I figure as long as their feet are warm, who cares.

5. My kids can run ahead of me as long as they stop at the alleys or streets.  I know this can be dangerous, but I have trust in my children that they understand the rules and will stay safe.

 

Despite these major faux pas; my kids are safe, healthy and kind children.

It is easy for us all to judge, but we can't all do things the same way - that would be boring.

Trust me, there are plenty of times when I disagree with parents giving their children lollipops to shut them up, but I remind myself not to jump to conclusions.  Can they be healthy lollipops, or maybe it is a special treat?

We have all thought we are bad moms at some point in this journey; we need others to support us; not make us feel worse.

Next time you see a mother doing something different than you agree with, try to smile and worry about yourself.

 

 

 

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  • Bravo! You are doing great work for your kids! Do not mind the biddies that feel that mommyhood is some sort of competition that their children are an extension of their perfection. blech
    Remember, you are raising adults, not children! Your goal is to have strong, happy young adults at the end, not insecure, whining kids.

  • In reply to skissman:

    Thanks for your support, skissman!

  • I do all these too.. except the running ahead of me. I even let my kids play ball in the house!! :) I once put the kiddie pool in the kitchen because it was winter! :) Good for you.. keep leting them be KIDS!!!

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    In reply to Vicki:

    This was funny!

  • Love it! All of it!!! I do all the things you've listed and more. I've even turned on the bubble machine indoors. I think it teaches kids a valuable lesson. They are learning to laugh at life and at themselves. Everything in life doesn't have to be regimented. Sometimes its ok to just enjoy life. As long as they are mannerable, healthy, loving, generous and high achievers in school....let them be kids...and even be a kid with them....sometimes :)

  • Five Reasons I Think You're a Great Mom:

    1. You encourage self-expression and creativity;
    2. Joy is welcome into your home;
    3. My boy bathes twice weekly; thought I was the only one;
    4. You encourage autonomy and independence;
    5. You educate your kids about boundaries, safety, and responsibility!

    Great job, Yoga Mom! MTM.

  • In reply to Mary Tyler Mom:

    That means a lot coming from you, Mary Tyler Mom.

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    I don't let my kids jump on the bed, but that's because I am worried they'll break them... other than that... we're on the same page...

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    I don't let my kids jump on the bed - they do it, but I'm a don't-ask-don't-tell mom on the bed-jumping (mainly because I worry about breaking bones or beds). HOWEVER - everything else I totally agree with. We blow bubbles IN the house, we have also had swimming and water tables in the kitchen, matching socks are for people who care ... my kids wear SHOES with their socks and no one can tell - so I don't worry about it. My girls bathe twice a week - we are the only country in the world where it is NORMAL to bathe everyday and it is hard on your skin!! My girls are healthy and happy. The other thing I do that grates on people's nerves is I let my kids choose their own haircuts. Who cares if she's 5 and wants to look like Rapunzel?? We grew out my daughter's hair for 2 years and a week or so ago she wanted to chop it off COMPLETELY, so I took her in right when she asked and we cut her hair. She is donating it - her choice - I think it's awesome. LET THEM DECIDE and they will take more ownership in their lives!!!

  • In reply to SpicyMomma:

    Tell your daughter I think she is awesome for giving her hair to someone that really needs it!

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    I agree with you..I do everyone of the things you listed..except letting the kids run ahead,but I am a little wacky about that.But if your kids know the rules I know it is fine..I hate people talking about the way I raise my kids.That is a spot they dont want to touch..lol It sounds to me you are doing a great job as a Mom..(=

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    1. My now 12 year old has not worn matching socks since she started dressing herself at 3yo. Little Miss Matched is her favorite store.
    2. She showers 2-3 times a week unless she stinks...lol
    3. I once made a hopscotch board out of painters tape in the kitchen and we played all winter.
    4. She had a cell phone when she was 9
    5. We change the lyrics to songs, for example..."A fart is a smell your butt makes.."

    Add me to the Bad Moms Club! :-)

  • In reply to mrsv98:

    That hopscotch board is a brillant idea. I'm doing that tonight.

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    i let my daughter run around the house in just a diaper. it's one battle i'm tired of fighting. she knows how to dress herself. if you don't count socks & shoes, she stays clothed in public & at other people's homes. she just turned three & is quit independent. i know regret & apologize to all mom's that i've judged poorly in the past. as a stay at home mom, you do what you have to to stay sane.
    : )

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    Didn't you know, it's all the rage to wear mis-matched socks?

    I let me daughter dress herself at 4 years old, and one day she wore an outfit, flowered top with flowered pants and flowered socks. None of the colors went together, but they each were flowered so she said they matched. How else are they going to learn?

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    You are an amazing mom!! My list would be much longer than just five! I sometimes take my kids to McDonalds and also let them eat hot dogs! I let my son jump off my coffee table! We have a small condo and he needs ways to get his energy out. I agree...I'm tired of worrying about what others think! As long as your kids are happy and healthy, you raise them however you deem necessary.

  • Oh my goodness. Based on that criteria, I think I might be a bad mom, too. My kids do all of those things, except jump on the beds, but that's only because they have bunk beds. LOL My son likes to play with his toys in every way other than what they were intended for. Matching socks are overrated. I let them run ahead because they can run and they look so beautiful when they do. They know when to stop.
    Good on ya, mama! Fantastic post! Sharing. :)

  • We are bathing-averse, mismatched self-dressing jumpers on beds at our house. Neighbors come over here to run a hose in the dirt and make table-sized mud pies. I let my 8-year-old walk the dog by herself. I never, ever help my children with their homework. We eat pancakes for dinner perhaps a bit too often. I let my son grow his hair long and wild. We may not be bad moms exactly, just not well-suited to a magazine photo shoot.....but trust me, we're not alone! There's lots of moms out there as bad as you! :)

  • My pediatrician told me not to bathe the Little Guy every night (during the winter) because it was causing extremely dry skin! Yay!

  • I am always looking to support rather than judge b/c I am usually the mom being given dirty looks in the grocery store. I often let my 3 year old walk around with a dirty face after meals b/c I think it looks funny for her to have a chocolate (soy) milk mustache! My kids have mismatched socks, sometimes leave the house without warm enough clothes on, and we like to make waves in the bathtub and get the bathroom floor nice and soaked! Down with the haters! :) You are a lovely mother!

  • Ignore all those narrow thinkers and snobs out there who seek out self validation by cutting down others! None of those things you listed are evil. Though I may stop inviting those types of people into my home to watch my kids jump on their bed if all they're going to do is judge. My kids play with matches and have farting contests. Is that really all that bad? I don't know. All I do know is that parents who judge need to be spanked.

  • Society as a whole tries to dictate who we are as parents or how we should raise our children. From the time we give birth (often medicated and flat on our backs) to their first birthday, there are all these "rules" and opinions. Hold your baby, but don't hold them too much. Vaccinate but don't vaccinate. Feed them healthy food but god forbid, don't let them be vegan. You are doing your kids a MASSIVE favor. You are drowning out the noise and teaching them to be individuals. To use their imagination. To be happy. It's the only thing that matters, and you are doing a great job!!

    www.myvegetablebaby.com

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