A repetitive theme in my life and of those women surrounding me lately is guilt. Moms feel guilty for not spending enough time with their kids, not spending enough time on their jobs and for not having a clean enough house. If you haven't experienced guilt for those reasons maybe it is because you can't tuck your child in bed every night or possibly because you could not read Goodnight Moon for the fifth time in a row and you made that clear to your insistent child in a moment of frustration. I can relate for I am the Queen of Mom Guilt. Actually, I am the former Queen of Mom Guilt.
I spent my first year of motherhood thinking I had to be with my son at all times, smiling, perfectly dressed in an immaculate house serving home cooked meals. That was not fun or possible. Then I discovered yoga. I realized if I am away from my son for 3 hours a week, that is a good thing for everyone involved.
My son got to interact with his dad, grandparents or even a babysitter and learn to be separated from his mother. I was able to concentrate on something besides diapers, nursing and sleep schedules. It is amazing how much better a person and caretaker I am being away for one insignificant hour.
The other problem I struggled with is that I was worried my husband would think I was lazy if he came home from work and I was in my pajamas. One day I told him that and he explained practically he knows I get dressed and leaves the house so why shouldn't I be comfortable when home. This simple revelation helped me to realize I am creating stress for myself that is not necessary. Ladies, we do it to ourselves! We don't have to over think everything.
Guilt is one of those emotions which is totally unnecessary, there is little positive that comes out of it. Try to spend that time focusing on making a change instead of dwelling on the problem. Instead of wishing you were at yoga class, at your child's first day of school or a night out with the girls, figure out how to make it work. Something will have to slide, but today will happen regardless, why use the time stressing about something you can change?
Obviously guilt is inevitable and comes with the territory. I have found I am happier, my kids are happier and my family is happier when I simply spend a few hours by myself a week.
Ladies lets try to be guiltless today. Who's in?