Starbucks Is Ruining Everything

Starbucks Is Ruining Everything

For the last few days, I've seen references to Starbucks changing the design on their cups for the holidays (to solid red), and how that is infuriating some people. How they're whipped up because it's a terrible affront to Christmas/Christianity.

I'd resisted finding out what it all meant and searching for any sort of article, because honestly, I didn't want to get whipped up myself. It's not like me, but this time I just didn't want to hear about Starbucks and I didn't want to hear about Christmas and I didn't want to hear about some group getting all crazy about a cup.

Well, I'd seen too many references and too many memes about it by today to let it go. I had to find out exactly what the problem was. I kept seeing reference to a plain red cup, so I couldn't imagine why that was so offensive to people. I decided to Google the deal and find out what the issue was.

I guess I'll never get those two minutes of my life back. I guess there are some folks who associate with the Christian religion who are upset that Starbucks previous holiday cup design had some ornaments and holly -- some reindeer and such. There are some people who feel by switching to a red cup, the ol' Bucks has now succumbed to the ongoing "War on Christmas," and "Jesus wept" refers to what he thinks about some overpriced coffee joint and their graphic design department.


There's so much here. There's so many angles to get at. Starting from this one -- how many of us regularly go to places like Starbucks and drop a fin on the daily, only to recoil at the thought of giving a homeless person some CHANGE? To quote the most holy Stephen Colbert:

If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we've got to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that he commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition and then admit that we just don't want to do it.

It seems like the people who are all about talking about Christianity the loudest seem the worst at practicing its most basic of principles. They are the ones who hate that Starbucks changed a coffee cup, but want to make sure social services get cut and people can't get food stamps. I have such a hard time reconciling that.


Also, since when did Christmas start November 1st? Advent, the beginning of the Christian year, and when Christians prepare for Christmas/the coming of Christ, starts November TWENTY-NINTH (29th) this year. So, back the fuck off everyone. Stop putting out full Christmas displays the nanosecond you take down the Halloween displays (yes, I'm looking at you, dear Walgreens).

Why does any Christian in their right Christ-loving mind give a shit what some commercial, retail, conglomerate entity does about Christmas? Shouldn't they be more concerned with what they are doing in their own homes, with their own families, teaching them about their own beliefs and ideas and faith? Showing them that Christmas isn't about a cup, but about how the Savior was born and what that means to them?

I went to Sunday school from Kindergarten to Senior year. I don't really consider myself a "Christian" for a variety of reasons, but I definitely know what the deal is. If I *were* to go full-blown C, I wouldn't be living the lives that these Starbucks freak outs are. I'm more of a freaky Jesus chick than a Jesus freak. Ya dig?


Lastly, there's just the plain old basic fact that ... there's not a fucking War on Christmas. Everywhere you go from now until the new year, there's songs about Christmas. Everything's red and green. There's trees everywhere. Everything's decorated up. People are way the fuck into Christmas.

I never hear anyone talk about a Hanukkah store or having a Ramadan party. There's no radio station that just plays ... winter solstice songs? I mean, c'mon! No one is taking Christmas away from anyone. The economy is built around it at this point.

The hilarious thing -- the fact that "Christmas" is so precious to people -- is that it's all sort of fake. The fact that the celebration of the birth of Christ was all mixed up with the winter solstice celebrations to make it more palatable. The fact that MOST people don't even know what the 12 days of Christmas are -- that they come AFTER the 25th. That they are the 12 days that the Wise Men took to get to Jesus after the angel came to them (scaring the shit out of them) and told them to head to Bethlehem. That the 12th day is January 6th, which is Epiphany.

So, whatever. Geese, drums, maids-a-milking. Frankincense, gold, and myrrh. But, don't act like a plain red cup is the scourge of Christmas. Acting like a right old dickface is.

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