My Friends Are Amazing.* To Wit: Bacon.

I have always had friends who:

  1. Are extremely intelligent.
  2. Are extremely funny.
  3. Can be extremely caustic/sarcastic.
  4. Can push the boundaries of humor to really crazy, taboo, dark places.
  5.  Love to discuss, debate, push buttons, and argue.
  6. Will talk through the finer points (and not-so-finer points) of a topic until most other people would be completely done, but we are willing to go the distance and really explore the "what if-s" and the "but and-s" and the "consider this-es."

I bring you "Bacon: The Facebook Discussion."

Jocelyn writes:

I do eat meat. But everyone needs to stop with the fucking bacon. People act like bacon wasn't invented until 2000 or something.

(Note: As of 11:50 a.m., 5/8/14, there are currently 37 "likes" on this status.)

Michael No. Never. Did I mention NEVER.
13 hours ago · Like · 3

Tammy Totally!!!!!!!!!! Wtf !!!
13 hours ago · Like

Jocelyn No one needs to stop eating it, just freaking all over it like it's the best thing since sliced bread. Pigs and cured meats have been around before sliced bread, man.
13 hours ago · Like · 2

Michael Say that when all the pigs are gone. Live it up while you can!!!
13 hours ago · Like

Bob Preach it! Bacon is fucking cheating. Got a crappy donut? Put bacon on it.
13 hours ago · Unlike · 1

Jocelyn I guess that's kind of what I mean. I'll eat the shit out of a maple bacon donut, but right .... I'd eat the shit out of a maple donut, too.
13 hours ago · Like

Ryan It's overdone these days. But still good.
13 hours ago · Like

Charles Shit... I thought bacon was a vegetable... My bad....
12 hours ago · Like

Andy Bacon is easily (and uncontroversially, I thought) one of the most delicious things in the world.

I refuse to apologize for being excited about it regardless of its age.

Edit: this comment would have been better with bacon on it.
12 hours ago · Edited · Like · 7

Rory I understand that people like bacon. I don't understand why people are obsessive about it and constantly talking about it on the Internet. See also: zombies.
12 hours ago · Unlike · 2

Ryan You can talk down to bacon all you want. But don't you go bringing zombies into this.
12 hours ago · Like · 1

Andy Like any culture, Internet culture is a collection of memes. See, e.g., American culture and careers. The fact that a culture has common symbols isn't actually surprising. I think, but I'm not positive, that the bacon obsession meme was largely spread by early-to-middle reddit culture.

Internet culture also loves cats. Chicagoans love big, greasy foods. Californians are obsessed with food purity or whatever. I think you're objecting to the fact that people from cultural identities arbitrarily. Maybe not. Someone should probably call an actual sociologist.

Of course, Internet culture would be more tolerable if someone had put bacon on it.
12 hours ago · Like

Ryan The problem came in when Internet culture became mainstream. 1337 culture was a subculture in and of itself. Not just some stupid meme to reference to prove how up to date on reddit you are. There was actually an agenda involved. Even if it was stupid and childish.
12 hours ago · Like

Ryan Mainly, counterstrike wall hacks.
12 hours ago · Like · 1

Andy I don't think you took my use of the word meme the way I meant it. I'm talking about units of culture, not pictures with two superimposed captions.

Also, I don't remember SA caring about bacon all that much, but I wasn't everywhere. Maybe it was a thing before reddit. Shmeh.
12 hours ago · Like

Steve · Friends with Rory
Bacon was a thing as early as 2000. Source: I attended a gathering of internet gamers from the US and Canada with bacon as a central theme that summer. Bacon in clan tags, tshirts, screennames, so on. I cannot, never, say if early (ish) internet culture inspired wider obsessions or merely reflected them.
12 hours ago · Like · 3

Lance No offense or disrespect intended, but bacon is delicious. Period. No one puts fucking sliced bread on a crap doughnut to make it taste better because that would be just plain silly. Add bacon to nearly anything and it is tastier and more fun. Of course, obsessing on it is boring, BUT bacon, like sex, is an undercurrent. It sells. Because it rocks. It may not always be on one's mind, but when it shows up, it's not a sad and dreary occasion. "Whoa! Make mine sliced bread." is not the phrase that comes immediately to mind. Just sayin.
11 hrs · Like · 2

Rory "No offense or disrespect intended, but bacon is delicious." I don't really understand why you guys think this is the point of contention.
11 hrs · Like · 1

Jocelyn Let me be clear. I never said bacon wasn't delicious. It IS delicious. My point is, it was delicious when I was 5, and when I was 25. It's delicious at 40. But at 25, the world wasn't having festivals and fairs and conventions and bacon freakouts. We just knew it was delicious and left it at that. There didn't need to be bacon beer and bacon chocolate and bacon in the Chicago flag and bacon sleeping bags and .... you catch my drift. Now people are obsessed with bacon.

I don't know ... it's bacon. It's delicious, but part of the reason it's so good is because it's a side. A really, wonderful, delicious accoutrement to a great meal. Or a wonderful addition or key ingredient -- BEE, ELL, TEE. But, I would just want a BEE, BEE, BEE. Bacon wrapped steak? Awesome. Steak wrapped bacon? No.

I say that to say, it's a wonderful complement. It's not the star. It's great in moderation. It's not something I need to hear about every day, four times a day. I'm not taking away from bacon's delicious ...... it's like you know how when people are REALLY rich? Old money? Classy, super mega-rich and have been for generations? They don't have to flaunt it. It's super understated. THEY know they're rich as fuck. They don't have to prove it. It's new money people with their fast cars, driving like jagbags, throwing around money at "da club," letting people know they're rich.

Bacon is old money, people. We don't need to act rich on bacon's behalf. It's wonderful. We don't need to do anything fancy. It speaks for itself.
11 hrs · Like · 8

Lance "Bacon is old money" was quality. No contention here. I just get excited by bacon.
11 hrs · Unlike · 2

Andy 1. I have eaten bacon as a main course. It was awesome.

2. Your thread about people talking about bacon too much has now reached 21 comments.

3. Now I want bacon, money, and a flashy car.
5 hrs · Unlike · 3

Bill I do eat meet
4 hrs · Like

John Rallying behind something seemingly stupid is common these days. I think the internet erodes belief systems at a rapid pace. Its a cultural psychedelic. I think people are starving for truth so much that they want to believe that bacon is a solid platform everyone can stand on.

Bacon=good... yay!!! Look y'all!! He likes it. She likes it. I like it. We exist on the same plane. Our identities couldnt be delusions.

But sadly, mindless identification can lead to a false sense of intimacy and camaraderie. I personally need a heavier anchor to steady my existential drift into nothingness.

I'm going to go ahead and say fuck bacon. Especially because it just made my smart friends have a well articulated debate about horse shit.

Andy, put some bacon on THIS and eat it. (Crotch grab)
45 mins · Like · 3

Jocelyn I saw you commented and in my head went, "Oh boy. What is John going to say about THIS?" LOLOLOL
40 mins · Like

Andy Mr. K is attempting to replace bacon - our barrier against the void - with truth-or-awareness-as-barrier, but it's all barrier and all void. The identity gained by the acknowledgement of meaninglessness is just as meaningless as the identity gained by sharing a love of cured pork products. To be steadied, we'd need a ground, and there's no ground in nothingness.

Wisdom won't save you, K. Neither will bacon, but at least bacon tastes good.

Correction: Bacon tastes DELICIOUS. It's also a wonderful example of post-rational ethics.
29 mins · Edited · Like · 1

John Agreed. Where we at with this?
john pic





16 mins · Like · 1

Andy I'm in.
16 mins · Like

Ben "I'm going to go ahead and say fuck bacon" -john k. best part of this discussion lol
15 mins · Like · 1

Ben i like how john saved his thesis til the end. it added so much more emphasis on how much he doesnt give a fuck about bacon
11 mins · Like

John Andy is right tho. Its so hard to believe in nothing. I do think there's more stylish ways to create yourself than being the bacon buff

Lance Agreed. Here's one.
lance pic





29 mins · Like · 2

*Some of you might think this is less than amazing; in fact, horrible. I just love it. You've got intellect, humor (high and low), self-reflection, analysis, debate, and discussion.

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