How Getting The Flu And My Love For French Silk Should Be A Wake-Up Call For Bakers Square

I have the flu. H1N1. I don't believe in the flu shot -- this is my half a decade immunization. For 48 hours, it was fucking shitty, no doubt. But I'll be strong as hell for the next 5-7 years for sure.  Oh, and the people who saw me said that even people who GOT the flu shot are getting this, so ... I still win. But, this is isn't about my ongoing bitch about the flu shot (which happens to be specifically about the flu shot and chickenpox vax, not ALL vaccinations, so before you go HAM and start comparing me to evolutionists, slow your fucking roll).

What this IS about is how during this quarantine, I've been isolated with the cat and my main moves have been from bed to living room couch. I don't have a TV or cable, so I'm stuck with the computer, YouTube, Netflix, and Facebook. This evening, I started to get a craving for chocolate, specifically Bakers Square French Silk pie.


I posted as such, and a thread ensued where someone said they might drop off a piece for me tomorrow (awesome!) and someone else mentioned that they were going to have to go out tonight (they're in Wisconsin). I then started to wonder if Bakers Square was Baker's or Bakers'. One baker's square or the square of many collective bakers. I went to the website to check it out, only to see that it was, in fact, owned by no bakers. It was just Bakers Square.


I still don't quite know what that really means. Does it mean ... what? What DOES that mean? Is that a guy's name? But if it was, wouldn't he still get an apostrophe? He'd still get Baker's or Bakers' , right?  Or does it mean that it's a square of bakers, but no one owns it -- it's just an adjective describing the square. It's a bakers square ... man, that still seems like it might need an apostrophe to me. SO .. I was going to go to the place that seems like it gets the most instant feedback -- Twitter -- to ask them what was what.

I searched "bakers square" and didn't find anything insofar as a Twitter handle. Sometimes, that happens, so I went to my default -- Google "Bakers Square on Twitter." That almost always gives the right handle, if it's convoluted in some way. Nothing. Weird. Okay. So, I find that they're on Facebook, and I "like" the page -- maybe they list a Twitter account there. Nothing. I double check the website. Nothing. Weird. They're not on Twitter. That seems crazy in today's world, yeah?


Now, I'm curious. I go back to Twitter, sign out of my account, and try to sign up for @bakerssquare.  "This account has been suspended," Twitter tells me. Bad salad, Bakers Square. I can only assume someone else was getting frisky with your name. Either way, you're not handling your business.

THEN .... I try and get the account @bakers_square. It's now mine. WHAT THE HELL!??!?!

Bakers Square! You gotta get your pie together, son! First of all, get your ass on Twitter. You're obviously on FB. I searched "bakers square" and people are giving you props left and right. People are crazy in love with you. They're tweeting love and shoutouts and memories and awesome pics. You need to give them an outlet and place to reference you!


Second of all, talk to me about getting this Twitter handle or something. Maybe a little French Silk action. Normally, I'm not all about trying to sell off things, but I'm home sick and I'm not above a little pie for play.

Lastly, C'MON! Seriously? It's 2014. If nothing else, at least make sure someone's on top of this stuff. I'm too lazy and not interested in getting any lawyers up my piehole (you gotta admit, the possibility for puns is rich), but I could just fake @Bakers_Square all day here. Not good. You've got to get all your social media cogs working. Shit, you could pin pics of pies on Pinterest all day!

But back to the Twitter thing. Keep your brand safe, and don't let this guy do your work for you:

UPDATE: According to Grammar Girl's delightful column, the noun serves as an adjective and needs no apostrophe. However, she does mention that it can be a matter of style, and there are some people who will always argue for.

At the end of the day,


Keep up with my head ... type your email address in the box and click the "create subscription" button. You will NEVER get anything else from me (no SPAM, and you can opt out at any time).

Leave a comment