Waiting for the end of the World

The dreaded date has finally arrived....and I am waiting for the end of the world. My daughter informs me that this is supposed to happen at somewhere about 4:00 AM, so I am tempted to stay up and see the show. I am still unemployed. My savings and retirement funds are running out rapidly. Christmas is rather a dismal prospect as we cannot afford to travel over the river, and through the woods, in order to celebrate with friends and family. I have a host of household issues that I haven't the money to deal with like leaking faucets, leaking toilet tanks, broken basement window (courtesy of a windstorm blowing tree branches off the neighbors tree through my basement window, but as the neighbor's house is vacant due to foreclosure, there is not insurance to get a new window, and the deductible on my insurance is greater than the cost of the window) It is one of those occasions where I can cheerfully give the universal, one digital response in the face of impending Armageddon. At least I wouldn't have to worry about fixing the darn basement window or the leaking toilet valve.....or the potential of what not fixing these items might do to my utility bills. Yep, as the song goes from Life of Bryan (I so love Monty Python), "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life"......(pretend to hear the chipper whistling in the background here).

I guess it is a good day to have the end of the world....The wind is sure howling outside, and for the first time in 300 days, we actually have snow on the ground (and this is Northern Illinois). It will probably also go down as the coldest day since last February. It is the Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year, the darkest day of the year (particularly with all the cloud cover)....so, all in all, it seems an opportune moment for the Apocalypse. And just think, nobody will have to deal with those credit card bills from Black Friday Madness, or worry about returning unwanted gifts. The stress is off for all you folks who were undertaking the hosting of their first grand holiday dinner for family-you will never have to call the Butterball hotline to find out exactly what it is that you are reaching up the turkey's rear to do. And there will be no arguments about whose family is most favored when it comes to accepting the holiday invitations. You will not have to worry about parity, about which family's home you went to for Christmas Eve last year and which you spent Christmas Day with. There is no need to frantically try to get your life more organized as a New Years resolution. No worries about losing weight, so go ahead and eat the entire platter of fudge that you made for the church social hour. Got any Hagen Daas leftovers in the freezer....? You have about two and a half hours to consume them, guilt free, right from the carton. And no worries about preparing kid's school lunches as they won't need them in Valhalla, Heaven, or whatever afterlife you might envision-I am sure that a luncheon will be provided, although the lines might be long for a table.

Go ahead, send your boss that email which tells him what you really think. After all, he won't be reading it as he doesn't get to work before 4 AM. You can use the wee hours to send voice mails and texts, coming clean with everyone you know...chances are, the majority will sleep through the event anyway. You, on the other hand, will feel cleansed and rejuvenated by the process of clearing the air and unburdening your soul prior to having your heart weighed on the scales of justice in the hereafter. The Mayans were big on the heart issue, removing it from their sacrifices as a separate entity. So, in the true spirit of the Mayan end of the world, I would imagine that we all want to be pure of heart.

How this exactly is to come about isn't really clear. Lots of theory and speculation, but nobody seems to know exactly what is supposed to go haywire, resulting in the end of the world. Some have even suggested that it only means the end of an era rather than a literal end of the world. If that be the case, better not hit send on those emails. And while I thought it might be interesting to have a ring side seat at the end of the world......I have just realized that God isn't letting me off that easily, and I will still have to deal with the drama of a pre-teen not wanting to get out of bed and dressed for school, complaining bitterly about what is available for lunch. I will still have dogs sticking cold noses into my ear to let me know that it is time to go out and do the necessary, requiring that I dress like a fireman in order to get everyone out the door before I am required to wash the floor. So, in order to have the resources to deal with reality, I will join the rest of the sane world and catch some sleep before the end of the world doesn't come. Wishing everyone a Happy Winter Solstice and a Happy Not the End of the World. Goodnight!

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  • fb_avatar

    there are some really hilariously funny things about this maya apocalypse. This site:

    www.2012-is-over.com

    sells "Survivor" T-Shirts for all Doomsday survivors :-)

  • In reply to Martin Schmidt:

    How cool, I guess it is safe to buy our T-shirts now.......Happy New Year!!! We get to celebrate despite the dire predictions.

  • send me your email address, I'll come over and fix the window.

  • In reply to rmccann99:

    Careful....I may take you up on that one.....Actually, I know exactly what I want to do, and if it goes well, then I will probably replace the others in the same fashion. It appears that I can buy completely pre-made glass block units at Menards. The trick is to mount them so that they stay put....researching that one on my favorite source DIY.com.

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