Deployment: the excitement and the disappointment

This post is written by Sam.

When I was told I was going to deploy to Iraq, one of the first things that came across my mind was my family.  How was I going to tell them? What was I going to say? We knew it was always a possibility when I enlisted, but I don’t think any of us expected it to happen so soon.

I made the first call to my mom.  I was expecting a lot of tears on the phone, but she was so supportive and not one tear fell.

Next, I was going to tell my twin sister.  Allison and I have a relationship full of craziness as demonstrated by her posts. I remember telling her while she was writing for one of the many jobs she has, that in November I would be headed to Iraq.  Her voice got very quiet and I could tell she was worried.  She quickly had to go, which is normal for her since she is so busy,  but something just wasn’t right.  I sent her a text message asking her if she was really OK. She said no and that she was crying in the bathroom about it. When Allison told me that, I began to fill with tons of emotion.  I was not expecting that from her at all.  She and I are so different and I never thought that would happen. It really showed me how proud she is and how much she loves me.

Not shortly after the news was announced, we began to train. No one knew what to expect about the deployment or how long it would be and where exactly we would be headed. I had to adjust and learn to accept that I had no control over it and that all I could do was manage how I handle things.  I had to step even farther out of my comfort zone than I had ever done before.  We were kept busy every day after that making sure everything was ready to go before we were supposed to leave. In such a short amount of time, it was insane to try and finish all of our tasks. Everyone was running around like chickens with their heads cut off; it was just nuts.

The time flew by so quickly. I soon found myself headed home for pre-deployment leave and learned that saying goodbye to everyone was hard. Everyday I made sure I was somewhere new whether it was visiting friends and family or going to goodbye parties and gatherings.

Near the end of my time home, I went to Mizzou to see Allison. It was so much fun!! Getting to see what she was doing and how good at it she is, was just amazing.  But then, we headed to my grandparents and that is when got the news.

We would not be deploying anymore.

When I found out about our deployment being cancelled I was disappointed. I was glad I could now be home for the holidays and everything, but I was so ready to go to Iraq. I had finally wrapped my head around the idea and I was looking forward to the experience. I was planning to save for my very first car with the money I would be making and not having to spend while overseas. I had already stepped so far out of my comfort zone than ever before.  But after all was said and done. I learned that right now, it is not in the cards for me to go. One day I will deploy, but for now, I need to accept that I was meant stay here and learn to be the best soldier that I can be.

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